Dating Severus Snape
by dragonpearlz
Summary: A series devoted to what it was like for Zia to date Severus Snape through and post both wars. Each chapter is part of the series and may not be chronological order. 1 1st war; 1.5 between 1st & 2nd wars; 2 2nd war; 2.5 post 2nd war. Some are sneeze or sick fics. Some are not. Most are dark. Summaries and time line are at beginning of each chapter.
1. 1 Two Sides of Evil Song Fic

Title: Two Sides of Evil

Summary: Some background on how Severus Snape and Zia (my original soul healer character) worked together during the original rise of Voldemort. To the song of When You're Evil, by Voltaire. (This is a rewrite of the original)

Disclaimers: HP isn't mine. The song, When You're Evil, is by Voltaire. The concept of a 'Soul Healer' is SuperImmuneGirl's. Zia is my own creation.

Warnings: Dark. Mention of a turning stomach.

_When the devil is too busy, and death's a bit too much. They call on me, by name you see, for my special touch. To the gentlemen I'm miss-fortune. To the ladies I'm sir-prise. But, call me by any name. Anyway it's all the same._

Severus felt his head fell like it was slowly filling with mud as he sniffled subconsciously. He put his most solemn face forward and concentrated hard to make the tickle in his nose subside. He'd begun to feel ill when he'd woke up the day before, but he was bound and determined to let it pass without so much as a sneeze or a cough. After all, he had been able to get through the flu the past winter and bronchitis before that – and the Dark Lord never suspected.

In his two years with the Dark Lord, he'd seen how unfavorably weakness – or more specifically, illness – was looked upon. It was seen as a failure of wills, and the Dark Lord would have nobody weak or failing on his side.

He sniffled again, and gently and discretely ran a finger under his nose. It was running like it had been when he'd been struck by the flu, but his prior resilience gave him confidence that he would be able to handle this as well.

He and Bella had been watching the Longbottoms for quite some time. They were next on the Dark Lord's list of targets. He had been reporting to both sides for about six months nw, but had not told anybody about this particular assignment. He knew what was best to share and when it was in his best interest not to. He felt that the loss of the Longbottoms would be regrettable to the Cause, but he knew that he was powerless to stop it.

"Hetsshoo!" the sneeze exploded out of him, catching him quite by surprise.

Bella looked up from her notes. "Severus, are you quite all right?" she asked, her scathing look relentless. Her tone told him that she suspected that he was not, and she longed to be right about this. She would happily tell the Dark Lord about his weakness.

"Quite," he answered curtly. He was surprised by the sneeze. It had been so long since he'd sneeze in front of another that he was also quite embarrassed by it. "Must be the dust."

She looked at him skeptically. "Perhaps," she said, looking as though she had turned back to her reading, but in truth she was watching him for another hint of weakness.

He was aware. He made sure that he looked and moved perfectly. But, he felt another sneeze coming on, stronger than the first. 'This is going to be EXACTLY like the flu,' he thought as he willed the sneeze back . Quickly, he grabbed one of the dustier books off the shelf. A large puff of dust fell onto him, just in time. "Hetchoo! Hesshoo! Asshoo! Atchoo! CHOO!" he sneezed heavily, and coughed a few times from the dust that he had inadvertently inhaled.

Bella looked at him and rose from her chair. "You're getting sick, aren't you Severus?" she asked. The bitterness melted off her tongue like ice cream in the summer. "You know how the Dark Lord feels about weakness." She was circling him the way a shark circles its prey. An evil smile twitched onto her lips. "And to think, we all thought you were so powerful that you were immune to illness. I'm sure the Dark Lord would be ever so… interested in this new development."

He shot daggers at her with his eyes. She was correct, but he would never tell her. Even as he felt the coughing swell in his chest, he was determined not to produce them. Not now. He couldn't show her this weakness. She would report him in an instant. But, he face was getting hot with the repressed coughs, and his nose was starting to run more. If he sniffed he would cough, but if he didn't he wound sneeze. Tears started forming in his eyes as he tried to get his mind off of his predicament.

His hand flew to his face as the sneeze started, "Heh – you don't kn-kn-heh – know wh-AATCH –…"

Just then the door flew open with a bang and Voldemort stepped inside. The surprise made both he and Bella jump, and scared the sneeze off.

"Severus, I have a new task for you," he stated confidently, as they bowed down in salutation. "Go back to Dumbledore and tell me what the Longbottoms are REALLY up to. They've been far too complacent and I feel that the time may come to launch our attack. However, I must be sure they are not luring us, only coming off of their guard."

"My Lord," Severus said as he bowed lowly, and rubbed the bottom of his nose. With a flourish and a 'pop' he was off to the Shrieking Shack.

'Pop!'

He appeared in the shack and coughed harshly. He was cold as the wind whipped through the planks. He pulled his cloak around tighter and went to leave. But, when he turned around, Zia was there.

Her arms were folded in her cloak and across her chest. Her long black hair tumbled over her shoulders. Her pale skin was so even toned that he knew it had to have been a glimmer. But, her eyes – her eyes were positively stunning green orbs of hostile seriousness. It was those eyes that drew him in more than any of her other favorable features.

He jumped back, "Don't scare me like that!" he shouted in her face. He was attempting to intimidate her.

It wasn't working.

"Sorry," she said, in a slow, low, silky tone, as she slowly started to circle him like he was her prey.

"How did you know I was coming?" he asked in an accusatory tone. No one was to know he was coming back. And, how could they? He only just found out himself.

"I didn't. I just figured you'd be back. You always come back," she stated plainly. The shack was chilly, but there were charms to protect her from the elements. It wasn't as though anyone in the Order would let her starve. And, she had plenty of work to do. She had set up an office on the second floor. The only time it was ever in danger was when Remus transformed there. And, even then, they mainly kept him caged on the third floor.

"How long have you been waiting here?" he asked. It was freezing in the shack and he had begun to shiver. But, he noticed that Zia looked warm and comfortable – as always. She was always well put together. And, he had never seen her lose her composure. She was consistent – always consistent. It couldn't have been an easy existence for her. And, he found himself oddly respecting her for it.

"Long enough," she said as she stopped circling. She had seen all that she needed to. 'Flushed cheeks, shivering, a red nose. Not again,' she thought.

_I'm the fly in your soup._

"Hetchoo!" the sneeze snuck up on him again. He hands flew to his face, but he was unable to catch it properly, and rather sneezed it into his wrist cuffs.

'That hangs it,' she thought. "Okay, sit down. I'll be nice to you, seeing as your under the weather and all." It was a shame that he was sick again, though not a surprise. The man worked himself too hard for both sides of the war. He never slept when he was with the Order. And, even when he did, he was plagued with nightmares. She had never seen him finish a plate of food. However, he was a healthy enough weight, so she figured he ate sometimes. But, it wasn't a healthy lifestyle – even for the lifestyles that they had anymore. Everyone was stressed and plagued with nightmares. But, Severus had it two fold. And, he had her unspoken sympathies for it.

"Het-CHOO!" Sniff. "I'm finde. Sshoo!" he sniffed wetly. He wasn't fine and he knew it. And he knew she knew it, although he still felt like he had to deny it.

She didn't believe him for a second. He was sick annually. She was surprised it wasn't moreso. But, she would be generous and give him an out. "Speak one sentence to me in a straight voice and I might believe it," she shot back at him.

He coughed to clear his throat, and felt his head start to throb. 'Oh no, not again,' he thought as he let himself realize that this was not a simple head cold. Rather it was another flu. He wondered if she already had known that. He assumed she did.

"I'm fine, my dear. I do make my living on not sh-showing…eh…weaken...heh..ess. HETchoo! HesSHOO! KesSHOO!" His head pounded and he felt the world spin. He grabbed his head and tried to focus on the heartbeat showing in her neck. Yea, that's it. He was looking at her neck.

"Not bad. You almost had me fooled." Her voice was straight and elegant, but hinted with sympathy.

_I'm the pebble in your shoe._

"However," she continued, "I know you better, Severus Snape. I knew you better at Hogwarts, and I know you better now. After all, who was the only one who knew about the last 2 times you got sick – and I don't mean some piddly head colds. I know you can handle those on your own, but laid out in bed sick?"

He glowered at her. "You," he seethed, as he made eye contact. He hated admitting weakness. Especially to a lowly healer.

"And who made sure you were able to do your job appropriately?"

"You." He was scathing mad. She was the best healer he'd ever met, but he hated the fact that she seemed to hold it all over his head.

"That's right, me. And you'd best be grateful. You know what would happen to you if the Dark Lord caught you sick."

Severus thought back to that last winter when he wasn't the only death eater who was ill. In fact, he was the only Death Eater who didn't show some sign or symptom of illness, putting him in the closest circle of the Dark Lord's trust. He couldn't have done it without Zia's help, though he was loath to admit it.

"So, sit down, shut up and let me do my job!" she practically yelled this at him, which took him off guard. Zia could be intense, but she didn't typically go so far as to yell.

_I'm the pea beneath your bed._

He knew that he could trust her. More importantly, he knew he had to. But he didn't want to be confronted with all that he had done… again. His job had taught him to numb himself and his emotions – they didn't matter after all. But her job was to release them, and just as he had experienced them while they were going into his mind, so would he have to release them as they exited his mind. A noble cause for her worthy talent, but just because he needed it to happen didn't mean he wanted it to happen. "Ketchoo!" The sneezes were becoming wetter. He groaned as he blew his nose into his now soggy handkerchief. In fact, all he wanted to do was sleep.

"Salute," she said quietly. Her temper had calmed, as she saw beads of sweat pop out on his brow, but she was still intensely waiting for him to let her do her job. It would be so much easier to do if he wasn't completely ill when she did it. Slowly, she made her way to him and tried to feel for a fever.

"Don't touch me!" he yelled as he pulled away, tripping over his own feet a bit as he did so.

"Then let me do my job, or I will pin you down and take what I want!"

_I'm the bump on every head._

He was darkly humored by the proposal, but he knew what she wanted to take from him. Sadly, though her beauty was intoxicating, her gifts were not so pleasurable. She was demanding, practically yelling at him. She wanted to control his every motion, and he knew she would do it. He found it oddly titillating, although he wouldn't admit it.

_I'm the peel on which you slip._

"You couldn't," he challenged. She could and she had, but he liked getting her angry. It was like revenge for the torture that she put him through each time they met. "Hetchoo!"

"Salute. Remus has it too. And Albus is coming down with it. Don't make this harder on yourself than it has to be," she said soothingly.

He relieved his nose with a loud honk. A burst of cool air tickled the inside of his nose. "HETCH!" The sneeze tossed him forward, and she steadied him by the arm. He was so grateful that she didn't allow him to go sprawling to the floor. But, he didn't have the words to express it. He was sick. Very sick. And he was angry about it. "Now you listen to me! You can't take what's not yours – what I don't give! You're nothing but an expendable healer!" He grabbed her and went to forcefully push her away to emphasize her weakness.

_I'm the pin in every hip._

She dug her heels in and grabbed his upper arm, thereby throwing off his balance. When he rocked back, she threw him to the floor and grabbed the back of his neck, closing her fingers around his spine. She pulled his neck back so that she could look him in the eyes. Stunned, he looked at her, through the hair that had fallen onto his face, as she hissed, "You may not like me, but you will respect me."

He felt like his neck was snapping, and he could feel her nails being to draw blood. "A little dark for a healer, isn't it?" He winced as she adjusted the pressure. It did not decrease, however. Rather, her nails dug in harder, like she was trying to snap his neck.

"It's my job to get what I need out of you. And I will," she continued.

_I'm the thorn in your side, makes you wiggle and writhe._

Her emerald green eyes seemed to turn black as ink and he could feel her probing his mind. His initial reaction was to keep her out, but he had long since realized that she was likely the safest person he knew. She would only reveal those of his secrets that she had to and would forget about – or, as she put it, 'compartmentalize' the rest. She didn't want anything from him, except what she needed to do her job. And, he could respect that.

His nose started to tickle uncontrollably. He tried to put up his mental shields, but she was in control of the situation. He was afraid to sneeze lest his head snap forward and she break his neck. His breath hitched. He tried to bring his hand up, but the healing had begun and the memories were flashing in rapid fire succession. He was being confronted and released from each memory. His stomach turned. He felt exhausted. He still needed to sneeze. He no longer felt the pressure on his neck, but he was unable to move. She hadn't released him, but it was ending. He felt himself coming out of it.

_And it's so easy when you're evil._

Zia let go of his neck. She put what she'd seen aside. She'd compartmentalize and catalog later. Right now, Severus needed to be fixed. His soul had been detoxed, but his body was still in need.

_This is the life you see, the devil tips his hat to me._

Severus snapped forward violent as five harsh wet sneezes shook his body. "Huh…HUTCHOOO! Ahhh…TCHOO! Ah-TCHOOO! EtCHOO! Hshixkt!"

He tried to maintain dignity as he picked up his dropped handkerchief, but the exhaustion made him drop to the floor. Zia could also tell the last one really hurt, as he'd tried to stifle it. She walked forward to help him up.

"Don't heh-hetchoo! sniff touch me!" he snapped at her, as he brushed the stray strands of black hair that had fallen into his eyes.

She backed off and looked at him. "You're still hiding things from me, you know. But let's get you up to snuff before you go see Dumbledore. Come on, to the couch with you."

She lead him to an old tattered and worn couch that looked like it was past its prime about 100 years earlier. Wearily, he lay down. She performed a simple diagnostic spell on him and sighed. "Well, it's not flu, that's a good thing I suppose."

Surprised by the news he asked, "Well than whad is id?" His sinuses were filling up at an alarming rate and his throat was too raw to clear.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, it's a terrible head cold you've got. Nearest to the flu that I've seen in years, but it's not the flu. A few of the others have it as well. All though, as you well know, I can't take them to a doctor."

Concern grew within his chest…or were those coughs? "How is Albus?" The man had been a surrogate father while he was in Hogwarts. He knew that he had broken Dumbledore's heart when he aligned himself with Voldemort. But, he would make that up to him. Even if it took the rest of their lives. He sighed. Dumbledore was aging. A strong illness could cause him serious damage, if not kill him completely.

"He's doing well enough," she answered. She didn't want to tell him that Dumbledore was the first to contract whatever this was. His sneezing and coughing had become so severe that the Order had to hide him at Grimmauld Place. Even now, two weeks later, he still hadn't fully recovered.

"You doe, I could jus' go ind and ged thad inforbation." Severus tried to sound threatening, but found it very difficult to do through the congestion.

"Well you could try," Zia challenged. In an unweakened state, Severus could likely give her a run for her money. But, as sick as he was, he didn't stand a chance.

He could take whatever he wanted from her. He knew he could overpower her mentally and physically if he wanted. But, he wouldn't. He felt too miserable right now. "Atchhisshh!" The sneeze had snuck up on him suddenly, and he sneezed it freely. "Excuse be," he said miserably, as he tended to his nose.

"Of course," she said nonchalantly. She knew he wouldn't rest until he felt comfortable, and he wouldn't feel comfortable if she scorned him for being sick. That's not what she was here for.

"You doe, that treatbent gets bore and bore intense every dime."

"Well, you do more and more that needs pulling every time."

He groaned. This hadn't been where he thought he'd be at this stage of his life. Sick and cold and caught between a world of death and life. Even when he'd joined the Dark Lord, this was not the answer he was looking for.

_I do it all because I'm evil. And I do it all for free._

Zia went and sat down at a desk, which she had quite obviously brought from elsewhere. "You rest now, I'll start drawing together the images, and wake you when it's time to go."

"D-Do you have enough to repord?"

"Plenty for now. You know I'll take it if I need more." Her words sounded so cold, even to her. She remembered being placed in Ravenclaw, at Hogwarts, and studying to enhance her natural abilities – well outside what was taught in the classroom. She remembered the life she had planned and how scared she had become when Voldemort rose to power and started executing healers one by one. By that time she'd already become a prominent soul healer, traveling the world to help witches, wizards, and even a few muggles to get past that which their mind held in. To help them release it gently and unobtrusively. But, when she had to choose life or death, she chose life…and this is where it lead her: to a cold shack in the middle of nowhere dragging out the memories of those who she needed information from. It was not the way she envisioned her life. Not at all.

Severus sniffed, as if waiting for something, but not wanting to disturb her.

"Severus, you are forgiven." It was said in a whisper, barely audible over her quill scratching, but he heard it. This was the cincher. The closing statement of what he needed in order for his mind to reset itself.

_Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need._

With those simple little words, so quietly spoken tears leaked from the corners of Severus' eyes. He tried to sniffle, but was too plugged up. He had to just let it out. As the feeling of forgiveness set in, the torment crept out. And, it crept out in the form of tears.

Zia looked up. She watched him cover his face in shame and sadness. Generally, she let him deal with his deeds on his own, but he was ill this time. She rose from the desk and knelt down next to him. "Severus, it's okay. You're not alone." Generally met with scorn, she was not prepared for the hug that he engulfed her in. She met his embrace with that of her own and held him until he sobbed himself to sleep.

_I pledge my allegiance to all things dark, and I promise on my darned soul to do what I am told._

Severus woke with a start. Zia had her wand pointed directly at him, and if looks could kill he wouldn't have woken up at all.

"So, Pettigrew is talking to the Dark Lord, is he?" she spat out 'Dark Lord' like it was a bitter taste.

"How? What?" Severus could not understand what she was talking about. He was groggy and tired and thought he was safe, until about five seconds previously. Besides, he hadn't let her into those parts of his memory.

"Another double agent? No, he hasn't been reporting to us. A spy? What is it? What is he doing? You know don't you? Let me back in." She was mad, enraged actually. She didn't give him time to answer. He withheld vital information, not merely things he could cope with on his own. That was not a condition agreed to between him and Dumbledore.

He felt his mind shut down. "I will not," he snapped back, a little too loudly. A coughing fit painfully wracked his body. She stood there, wand still at the ready. She didn't trust that this was part of his illness until he was gasping for air with raspy breaths but still not able to take any in.

"Here," she said tenderly placing a hand on his chest. Effortlessly, he felt the tensions release and the coughing subside. "Sorry I don't have any tea. I wasn't expecting us to stay here this long. But, I do have a few more things to do before I take you back."

"Like kill be?"

"It's high on the list if you don't tell me why you mumbling about Pettigrew in your sleep."

"He is what you think he is," Severus relented. 'She earned the tid-bit,' he thought. As he drifted back to sleep, he wondered how someone so intoxicatingly beautiful and dangerously strong could also be so gentle and caring.

_For Beelzebub has never seen a soldier quite like me. Not only does his job, but does it happily._

Severus took a deep breath. He was still dizzy with fever, but Zia was right, she had to go back in. He nodded at her. Fighting her was only making him feel more ill. And, he was fast learning that nothing kept her from getting what she wanted. He cleared a spot for her next to him, which she promptly took.

"Do you like you job?" he asked her suddenly, without malice.

"I do."

"Why?" He was genuinely interested. And it shocked him.

Zia looked at him, puzzled. She really hadn't thought about it. She liked the power. And knowing things. She liked helping a worthy cause. And, the fact that it kept her alive. But, she answered, "I have a unique skill, and it's in demand. I'm enjoying that while it lasts."

Severus nodded. He understood the need to be needed. And he knew, all too well, the fear of uselessness, and the consequences it could hold.

He took a deep breath, and closed his eyes, as she went back in.

As the fog lifted, Severus saw Zia scribbling notes.

"Hey," he called out weakly.

She looked at him, the color drained from her cheeks. "You hide so much. But, I got what I needed. This is going to be a hard report to give."

He sniffled. Unlike usual he didn't remember this one. He barely knew it had happened. He figured it was a hidden trait from her soul healer days.

"Are you a pure-blood?" he asked, despite himself.

"Mostly."

"How are you _mostly_ a p-heh-pu-eh-pure – Heatchoo! pure-blood?"

"I'm 5th generation first born witch on my mothers side, and 6th on my fathers. Before that the family tree gets a bit muddled though. We've all be active throughout history. Nobody wanted to keep records." What she didn't say was that he line had been traced back well over 700 years on both sides, making her just about as pure as it possible.

_I'm the fear that keeps you awake._

Severus slipped into another fitful dream. He saw the moon casting a blue shadow on the room as he watched the shadows approach him.

_I'm the shadows on the wall._

The death eaters silently filed into the room. "We hear you've been seeing a healer," Lucius seethed at him.

"Never!" Severus spat back. He felt the fear creep throughout his body. "I don't need assistance from a weak healer."

One by one the death eaters removed their hoods and drew their wands.

_I'm the monsters they become._

He felt as if he were being struck by lightning. Searing streaks of electricity shot through his body as he felt his life force shake violently. But, he'd been training for this. He pulled in the pain and dropped to his knees. He would not scream. He could not scream.

_I'm the nightmare in your skull._

He knew if he'd just give her up, they would leave him alone. He knew the pain would stop. But, a healer that strong would be devastating to those who opposed the Dark Lord.

_I'm the dagger in your back._

His dreams quickly shifted to Zia, standing beside the Dark Lord, fixing the Death Eaters, smiling at him, viciously.

_An extra turn upon the rack._

The pain stopped just long enough for Lucius to kneel down, and whisper, "We know your little secret."

_I'm the whimpering of your heart, a stabbing pain, a sudden start_.

He watched as Zia's eyes, usually so full of compassion turned hard and black. "Gotcha," she whispered, darkly.

_And it's so easy when you're evil._

Severus woke up with a start. Zia had her hand on his forehead. "Shhh," she soothed. "Your fever spiked. It's okay, just rest." Her eyes darted around the shack. She knew something was going to happen. Something bad. Something soon. "Come on, we have to get going. Dumbledore is expecting us soon." She took a hold of his arm and started to help him up. She doubted very much the 'bad' feeling she was getting had to do with Dumbledore.

Dazed he let her help him. He felt worse. So much worse than he had before.

Quickly, she placed a hand on his pounding heart. "Forgiven," she whispered.

He gasped as a flood of unforeseen emotions overwhelmed him. As he let the tears fall, she stood him up, and gathered up her notes. "Heh- heh-he- atchhisshh!" he sneezed wetly, barely able to catch it. He was dizzier than he could remember being in a long time. Even the last bout of flu hadn't been this bad. He shivered uncontrollably.

"Bless," she said absent mindedly. She wanted to make sure she didn't leave anything behind.

"Heh-," he felt his fever rise, "eh-" and a little more, "Heh-shhhhh!" he sneezed wetly, freely, and sank back down on the couch. The world was swimming infront of his eyes. "What's habbending?" he asked, weakly.

"Oh no, Sev, you've got to stand up for me. We're going to apparate n-."

_This is the life, you see._

The door downstairs slammed open, and heavy footsteps entered. "Now," she said, helping him off the couch.

He started to cough deeply.

Knowing the dangers of moving someone while in 'active' state, she put her hand on his chest and flooded it with healing energy.

_The devil tips his hat to me._

Suddenly, the door to their room was flung off the hinges and they were graced with the presence of Voldemort, with Lucius Malfoy at his side.

Straightening up and looking mostly better, Severus bowed deeply. Zia matched him with a curtsy. "May I help you, My Lord?" he asked. Zia could still hear the congestion in his voice, but he had taken great strides to mask most of his illness.

"How have you been faring?" Voldemort asked Severus in the most matter of fact way.

"No concern to be – ha-ha –," the sneeze was going to come out whether he liked it or not. He braced to stifle it. Zia saw it too and willed it away for him, allowing him to continue with his sentence. "-had, My Lord." He finished just as strongly had he'd begun.

"I know you've been unwell, Severus. But, unlike most, you seem to be able to control your illness. I admire that strength within you," Voldemort stated.

Severus bowed his head. His nose was still tickling furiously, but another force seemed to be in control of it…and of his fever. He knew it was still high, but he was able to function with minimal adverse effects. He looked at Zia. She was still in a deep curtsy waiting to be addressed. '_Is_ she working for him?' he wondered.

"And, as for you," he said turning to Zia. "No need to shield, my dear. I'll take what I want in due time. Severus says you're quite remarkable. The only healer worth keeping alive, I believe were the words. And there are others who call you Dumbledore's secret weapon."

"You are too gracious, My Lord," Zia said, humbly. She'd been preparing for this. All soul healers came face to face with him at some point. It was only a matter of time until her job led him straight to her…or maybe it was the other way around.

"Well see," he said, plainly. "Lucius, do it."

With that she drew her wand. Lucius tried to expel it from her hand, but she was ready for him, and it stayed put. "Do what?" she hissed.

Lucius' lips curled maniacally. "She's not stupid, I'll give her that," he said. "Look into my eyes."

She did. But didn't let him go in. She stopped him at her eyes.

"I see strength with vibrancy."

"Well go in further," Voldemort commanded.

"I see -," he started, but she continued, "I see concern, fear, for an _unborn_ child. Ah ha. Apparently, Mr. Malfoy here wants a child. And wants to be sure he will be provided for within the ranks of your Dark Army." She had steady hold of him now. Turning occulmancy against another was one of those traits that she kept secret from everybody. Although, it was a primary skill which let her do her job. He tried to break free, but she had him strong, "And… I see what you mean about Severus being able to control his illness. It seems you've been having some trouble among the ranks?" What she didn't say was that she saw Bella, whining in bed, sick with the same Severus had. And, that Lucius himself was starting to come down with a terrible chest cold. 'He'll find it out in due time,' she thought, subconsciously. She broke the He-Who connection.

Voldemort sat himself on the couch, looking quite entertained. "Well Lucius, she read you like a book. Reversal's a rare trait, my dear. However did you learn it?"

"I had the fortune of being born with it, My Lord," she lied.

Voldemort looked disappointed. Undoubtedly, it was a trait he wanted. One that he would take from her, if need be. "There must be a way to teach it."

"I'm sure," she generously agreed.

_I do it all because I'm evil._

"What are my weaknesses?" Voldemort asked. "I shall open my mind to you and let you have a look."

But, she would not be bated. "You have no weaknesses, My Lord."

Severus smiled, despite himself. He still wasn't sure if his dream had been a nightmare or a premonition, but he was willing to wait it out.

"You were in Slytherin, weren't you?" Voldemort asked.

"Ravenclaw."

"You're a bit dark for Ravenclaw."

"I do what I have to," she stated, nonplussed.

While Lucius watched this transpire, he felt his chest grow heavy. She was nothing if not right about everything else. But, how would a healer not notice that he was getting sick. He wondered what her strengths really were. He sniffed lightly, and thought he saw a flicker in Zia's eyes as he did so.

"Here," Zia said, giving him a silk handkerchief.

He looked scandalized. "What would I need this for?" he asked, taking it gingerly, as though it was poisoned.

_And I do it all for free._

"Hm…I must be losing my touch," she said, as she acted as a channel from Severus' symptoms to Lucius' body.

Suddenly, Severus' nose stopped tickling. He took a deep breath in. Nothing. But, he noticed that Lucius looked ghostly.

Lucius felt it too. He felt his nose start to tickle furiously. "Heh-heh-eh- AtishOOOO!

AtishOOOO! AtishOOOO! Huh…HUTCHOOO! ITchesshoo! Shooo!" He blew his nose into the silk handkerchief, but the pressure barely released. "Excuse be, By Lord." The heaviness in his chest started to tighten. He felt heavy coughs waiting to come out.

Voldemort looked at Lucius, disgusted. "I brought you to be strong. Can you not do even the little things I ask of you?"

Lucius cleared his throat. "Of course, by L-," Zia took another bout of sneezes from Severus, "Katchoo! Hisshoo! Hesshoo! Atcheew!" he sniffed miserably. "By Lord."

Enraged Voldemort turned to Zia. "Fix him!" he ordered.

"Of course, My Lord," she said elegantly, as she transferred the illness back into Severus. Lucius felt better, more tolerable, but his chest was still tight.

"Well?" Voldemort demanded.

"It is done," she stated. She took a fleeting glance at Severus. It most certainly had been. He looked worn out. She stifled his sneezing and fever again. And turned her attention back to Lucius.

"Well?" Voldemort demanded.

He felt the tightness in his chest, but was not about to complain about it. "Amazing," he said clearly and without complaint.

_Your tears are all the pay I'll ever need._

"And," Zia continued, "incase it starts coming back, drink this." She handed him an unmarked vial of herbs. It'll help your symptoms considerably.

"Do you think I'm insane?" Lucius bellowed. "I will not drink that which has not been tested."

"Of course not." She shook the vial and put some, without water, on her tongue, chewed and swallowed. Her throat burned like fire whiskey but she said, "Now, that wasn't so bad was it? Now, just think of how harmless it would be when diluted with water."

Lucius took the bag and stuffed it into his robes.

"Will it help them all?" Voldemort asked.

"It will."

"Welcome to the Death Eaters, my girl. You will heal my soldiers, and I will bring them to an undisclosed location each time. Now, it's time for you to make your vow."

Zia always knew this day could come. In a moment of panic she squeezed into Lucius' chest. Heavy throaty coughs wracked the slender man's body.

"You fool! I need both of you to witness this, you know that!"

But Lucius couldn't stop coughing.

"Fix Him!" he bellowed at Zia, with his wand extended. She released his chest.

"My Lord," Severus interrupted, "would it not be better to do the full ceremony for this one. Take her back and introduce her as the healer we turned off of Dumbledore? Besides, don't we need to watch her a little more. She turned a little easily, don't you think?"

"Yes, of course," Voldemort relented. "We will then take our leave. Go, both of you, to Dumbledore. And bring back the knowledge about his next move."

About 10 minutes after both Voldemort and Lucius apparated out of the room, Zia relinquished her hold on Severus.

"Is it safe now?" she asked.

He nodded, and sank into the couch, feeling his temperature rise again. "That was ama-ama-a-heh-heATCHOO! HetCHOO! HehSHOO! Hehshoo! Shoo! KetCHOO!" His head swam, and he felt Zia pull him off the couch.

With a small 'pop' they were back in Dumbledore's study.

Zia held onto him tightly. "It's okay Sev, just let yourself go. You're safe now," she whispered.

"Atchoo! Hxxsht!" He winced in pain. He wanted to stop the sneezing and couldn't understand why he got so much worse all of the sudden.

"You're back!" a smiling Dumbledore said as he approached them. He looked at the two of them and his smile quickly faded. "Oh my, what's happened now?"

_It gets so lonely being evil._

"So that's it? To keep yourself alive you took the road Severus did?" Dumbledore asked, as he poured them both tea. The disappointment was apparent In his voice.

"Sort of. Severus got me out of getting the mark, but I'm going to have to be a LOT more careful. I'm on their scope now." She took a sip. She couldn't get warm or stop shaking. She remembered only being this scared once. And, that was why she was here now, as a transformation from her former self.

"It's only a matter of time. You know that Severus will turn you in if he has to."

"I know."

"Which side are you on?" Dumbledore asked point blank.

"Yours! This! Against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! How can you ask such a question?"

"Then you must do what you must do to stay alive. I will tell the proper channels about your predicament. You will not be permitted to soul heal anybody except the Death Eaters until Voldemort is defeated."

"I understand." Tears were in her eyes. This was not the path she wanted to take. 'Maybe,' she thought, 'I should have let him take me when he had the chance.'

_What I'd do to see a smile, even for a little while._

"How is Severus?" Remus asked, coming up to Zia. It didn't sit well with him that they were all expected to trust Severus. But, the predicament that Zia found herself in was beyond what he could comfortably cope with. He and Sirius had already agreed they would allow her to continue to soul-heal them as necessary. They knew, logically, it could be dangerous. But, he loved Zia and he loved her predecessor, Jada. He knew what not being able to heal people would to her. And, he couldn't let her be harmed that deeply.

"Fine," she answered numbly.

"And how are you?" he asked, genuinely interested.

"Fine," she answered just as numbly. She didn't mean to be curt with him. She just didn't have a lot to say. She felt so lost, empty and out of place.

"You're still one of us, Zia. We don't begrudge you that."

"I know."

He got quiet for a while. "Have I offended you in some way? You used to talk to me."

She looked into his brown troubled eyes. "No, Remus. I just have a lot going on right now. And, I don't know what to say."

"I understand." Quietly, he walked away from her. He wouldn't push if she didn't want to talk. He knew she would come around in due time – at least he hoped she would.

Zia went into the room at the end of the hall. "Hey Sev, how're you feeling?"

"HetCHOO! Better." He blew his nose, quietly, and tucked away the handkerchief.

"Listen," they both started at the same time.

"You first," said Zia.

"Listen, Zia. You were a good actress back there. The best. I'm going to make it so they don't make you a Death Eater, just a follower. That way, you won't have to get the Dark Mark, and you won't have to make an unbreakable vow."

"I appreciate that, Severus. Thank you." It was much more than she had expected.

She opened her mouth to say something, but changed her words, "Did you know you'd been followed?"

"No." He sniffed. "HetpCHOO!"

"Bless," she whispered.

"Why did I get so much worse afterwards?" he asked.

He had a right to know. "Because I basically attacked an already weakened body with an illness that would have hurt a healthy one."

He nodded. It had only been a few hours since the encounter, but it felt like a lifetime. "HetCHOO!"

"Bless." She got up, "I should let you get some rest. Sleep well, Severus. And, if you need anything, just call."

He nodded. He wanted to snap that he wouldn't need help. But he could see fear and hurt in her eyes already. He didn't want to press the issue.

_And no one loves you when you're evil._

Zia sat alone in her room. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. Her skills had been tested and she'd come through, but at what cost? She couldn't soul heal her friends, only her enemies. She felt worlds apart from everyone, at the place she counted as home. She could hear their laughter downstairs, but was afraid to join it. She pictured herself walking into the room and everyone stopping. She felt like a dark cloud covered her. 'Avada Kedavra,' she thought to herself. That would end a lot.

She thought of her favorite song from 'Into the Woods': "No more questions, please. No more tests. No more curses you can't undo, left by fathers who never knew. No more quests. No more feelings. Time to shut the door. Just no more."

She tried not to think of the counter argument from the same song. About not really dying because people remember.

She started to sob. This wasn't where she wanted to be. And there was only one way to get out of it.

She awoke to a quiet knock. She didn't remember falling asleep, and her face was still wet. So, she figured it couldn't have been long before.

"Z?" It was Remus and peaking over his shoulder was Sirius.

"Hi guys," she squeaked. Her voice felt weak. She felt weak all over.

"You okay?" the entered the room and closed the door behind them.

"Fine." She sniffed. She'd never been less fine in her life. She also had no idea how to explain the situation.

"We still love you, Zia," Sirius blurted out.

"What?" Remus wasn't supposed to love her anymore. And, as far as she was aware, Sirius never had to begin with.

Remus shot him a look. "Zia, we don't care that your function changed. You're still the strong witty person that went face to face with the Dark Wizard and two Death Eaters and walked out unscathed.

"But changed," she added.

"Yes, but for the better. Just think of it. It's not that you're a double agent. It's that you're a better spy. We appreciate your function. And, you can still take care of us…just us. Things won't change that much." Sirius had a good point.

"But will everyone still let me?" she countered.

_I'm lying through my teeth. Your tears are all the company I need._

Suddenly, they all heard Severus started to scream. "NO! NO! ZIA! NO!"

They ran into his room. He was still dreaming, curled into a corner of the bed, screaming. "TELL THEM NO! ZIA!"

Before they could stop her, Zia rushed to his side. "Shhhh! Shhh! Severus!" She tried to calm him down, but he began to flail.

Sirius started to draw his wand.

"Put that away!" she called out, anticipating the move.

"Severus!"

He stirred.

She called again.

This time sat bolt right up. She held him as he cried, and clung to her. "Don't let them do the curse. Don't let them kill you."

"Nobody's doing a curse on me, hush now."

"No, I felt it. Your life force depleting."

"It's all under control now."

She heard Remus and Sirius quietly leave.

"Don't do it, Zia. This isn't a bad thing. You're not a bad thing. This is good. For the cause. For all of us."

"Thank you, Sev. I've got you now." She climbed under the covers and they snuggled throughout the night, leaning on each other for more than just warmth. Needing companionship.

_Song is from "When Your Evil" by Voltaire_


	2. 15 At the Convention

Time: Between the 1st and 2nd wars

Summary: Zia and Severus go to a Potion Masters convention (PotionCon), where they are both teaching. He starts coming down with a bad cold, but doesn't want to admit it. Sick!Severus.

Authors Note: Since I lost the comments when I switched this from its own story to a chapter in a series, here they are:

issyrocks13836/21/10 . chapter 6: :) Awww soo cute!

MaritimeStars6/4/10 . chapter 6: Great story!

stargazer06076/2/10 . chapter 6: Great story! I always love your Severus and Zia fics. Hope you write more of them in the future.

Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus *

A tendril of smoke curled and tickled Severus' nose, and he twitched it to make the tickle go away. He was used to this – being a potions master and all. But, this was the potions event of the year: Potioncon. He had looked forward to it all year – the best Potions Masters of the wizarding world got together to share secrets and talk about a science that only the elite understood.

Of course, there were some downfalls – such as the halls was almost always smoky – no matter how many spells were cast. And, there was always a wisp of a foreign aroma… and they always made him sneeze. In fact, everybody seemed to be allergic to at least one of the many scents. At least they only made him sneeze. He'd seen others become violently ill, or even break out in rainbow colored bumps.

He sniffed. He nose was becoming increasingly stuffed as the day went on. He almost wished he could just sneeze and clear his head. Almost. The current class he was in took the upmost concentration and purity of the materials used. A sneeze could not only ruin his potion, but end the entire class. He sniffed again. It would have to wait until later.

Zia watched him from the doorway and unable to help herself sent him a kisserfly – teeny butterfly that would land on the back of his neck and disperse in her scent. She quickly left the doorway. He didn't need to see her; he'd know who sent it.

The kisserfly landed lightly on the back of his neck and erupted into her scent. He breathed in the comfort of her presence, and sneezed gruffly, "Hurkeechoo!" He was able to cover his sneeze, but it was to no avail. The lovely peach potion turned a sickly green and then brown.

"Bless you," the instructor said, barely looking up. "Your potion?"

"Ruined," Severus answered. He shook his head and coughed, wincing at the dryness. He wanted to be mad at her for stealing such a precious moment. But, she sent a kisserfly… to him. He smiled despite himself. "Thank you for such a stellar class. I look forward to it next year."

The instructor nodded, but was too immersed in thought to reply.

Severus left silently and joined the bustling main hall. He wanted to find her and tell her how she ruined his potion and that this was not the time or place for that sort of magic. But, on the other hand, he didn't want to – what if she stopped? No one had ever loved him the way she did, and he knew if he told her she had upset him she would never send another again. He didn't want to risk it.

He swallowed, his throat was on fire. He wanted to hold Zia close to him. He knew that just having her near would make him feel better. But, he couldn't – she was teaching for most of the convention. He took a look at the schedule. She just started her 'Don't Be Stupid' class. He smiled – it's not really what the class was called, it was their nickname for it. The class was really, "Teaching Your Student's Without Poisoning Them". She would be teaching the professors coping skills for dealing with issues that arise when students act stupid.

He swallowed again. While he had wanted to take her class, he needed a drink – and a potion. This was only the start of a cold. He hoped he could cut it off at the pass.

The next time Severus saw Zia it was in passing. And the time after that. Between the teaching and class taking that they were both doing, by the time they saw each other in their room, they barely had time to fall into bed before they were dead asleep.

They had a nice brunch scheduled for the Saturday that they were going back to Hogwarts. And Severus held onto that. He needed to.

He had never seen her like this – so busy that she didn't notice that he was ailing. Or, maybe it was because he wasn't the only one. Slowly, though certainly not silently, a head cold was working its way through the convention. Severus' sore throat had become a chest wrenching cough and a fever that made him beyond dizzy. His nose also tickled furiously.

"Heh-schchh!" He sneezed wetly. He swallowed against the pain in his throat and coughed. Zia had already left to teach another class. He was amazed. She was in no way a potions expert. But, she totally understood people. And, she was able to teach the teachers skills that they could bring home. He'd heard people raving about her energy and her perspective. And he wanted to take her class so badly. But, he wanted to sleep too.

Sleep wasn't an option. She had always supported him. It was time for him to support her as well.

He suppressed another cough as he sat in the back of the class. She hadn't come out to greet the class yet. He'd seen people appear with parlor tricks – puffs of smoke, etc – and he hoped that she wouldn't be one of them. Not only was it cheesy, but the smoke made him cough and the coughing made his head ache.

While he was pondering how she would enter, she entered and started talking. He didn't event notice until another sneezed exploded out of him and she heard her bless him. Sort of.

"Bless you, to whomever sneezed," she said walking around the front of the room. "I highly suggest you get the lavender flower based Pepper-Up that Severus Snape brews. This cold doesn't seem to be responding to regular Pepper-Up, but I swear by the one that Professor Snape brews."

Severus blushed and suppressed a sneeze. Not only did he hate that she called attention to him. But, she complimented him to everyone in the class – and it was a fairly large class. He wasn't sure whether to blush or depart. He decided against both and tried to concentrate on what she was saying. He was sure she was vibrant – she always was when she was teaching.

People were laughing. He coughed and snapped out of his thoughts. He flushed with embarrassment, certain that it was him they were laughing at. No, she would never do that to him. To others, certainly, but not to him. Rather, he rationalized, she had likely made a joke or an observation and they identified with it.

She smiled as the class identified with what she was saying. She was by no means a great potions anything. But, she remembered how terrified she had been of her potions professor, and the many reasons students were afraid of Severus. She scanned the class to see if anyone did not understand her viewpoint, but when her eye landed on Severus – more pale than usual with red-rimmed eyes and a slightly pinked nose, she knew at the very least his allergies were getting the best of him. She quelled the feeling of protectiveness that swelled within her. She smiled a gentle hello to him.

He saw the familiar look in her eyes. She had noticed his ailment. She was concerned about him. He hoped that he would not distract her from the name that she was making for herself.

"So," she said, as she walked over and sat down in the seat next to him. "It's cold and flu season. You will have a sick student or three. You know that they will sneeze or cough or make another bodily function that will destroy the potion. The key is not expecting them to shield their potions from themselves. They just don't get it. It's not a show of disrespect. It's because they're still young and foolish." She stole a glance at Severus. She had honestly wished that he wouldn't show for her classes, because she discussed the 'then and now' generational gap. She knew that it was a sore subject for him and the last thing she wanted to do was embarrass or infuriate him. "Also, remember, that when most of us went to school there was a war brewing. We didn't have a chance to be kids. These kids missed the war. They don't have the same life or death seriousness about the lessons learned as we did."

Severus paled. His head swam and he felt dizzy. He wasn't sure if it was because she had touched on childhood or if it was because he was starting to run a fever. He felt like she was talking to him directly, although he knew she was not.

There were a few murmurs and nods around the room. Someone asked a question, but Severus couldn't concentrate on the words.

"No, do not threaten the students. Turning them into a newt or something that wears off may feel good, but unless you have permission from your Headmaster – it's only going to get you into trouble. And, threatening them with darker times only makes us look scary – or old. A relic from another time."

Severus sneezed wetly.

"Bless," she said, as absent-mindedly as she could. "They look at us like we're 'uncool' or we 'don't get it', rather than appreciating what we _do_ understand. It's difficult – and let's be blunt, it sucks. But, in order to be taken seriously we have to seem 'hip' or 'cool' and they can't fear us."

There was a cynical chuckle around the room.

"Excuse me," Severus said. "But, we're not the most likable or relatable group of people – even amongst our friends. How do you propose we identify with the students?" He coughed several times and closed his eyes as he struggled to regain his breath. He felt a burst of healing energy warm his chest.

The class was silent. Too silent. He opened his eyes slowly. He knew what Zia had done. She'd healed him that way before. But, she had moved away from him and was starting to answer his question.

"I'm not saying we can identify with them on a personal level. Except on rare occasions it may not be the best idea anyway. However, recalling that they are young, inexperienced, and have not yet found something that they are passionate about will help us not comes off as evil, nagging, or bastards."

"You're not a potions master," someone accused. "How can you understand?"

Severus felt his heart drop – or it could have been his fever notching up a degree. Grey spots appeared in front of his eyes. But, he couldn't let Zia be torn down by potions masters destroying her new respectable reputation.

"I am not. But, I am a teacher at Hogwarts, and I am a healer. This means that potions are exceptionally important to me, my livelihood, as well as the livelihood of those around me.I am lucky enough to date a potions master," she motioned towards Severus, " and since I work in the same school as he, I hear what the students think of him. Then I hear things from his point of view. It's never the same story. And, without fail, the students think Severus is an inhuman monster. And that is why I wanted to teach this class. Because I don't think potions masters are inhuman monsters – merely misunderstood."

The questions ended. Everyone seemed happy enough with her answer. Severus was relieved. As it was, he needed a nap, and wasn't ready to do or say anything that would cause him to have to duel. He sneezed again. Besides, between the coughing and the sneezing, he was certain he wouldn't be able to fight effectively, anyway.

Zia waited until the class emptied out to go back to Severus.

"Hep-tissh!"

She knelt before him. "Sev, why didn't you tell me you were sick?" she whispered.

He cleared his throat. "You were busy. I didn't want to be a bother."

She looked at him skeptically. "I'd give up a class…"

"No. You've been building a new reputation for yourself. And, I've been taking classes…"

"Sick? Lovely. You're helping spread the Pepper-Up resistant cold going about."

He coughed harshly. "Just two more classes, love. We've got a relaxation day tomorrow. We'll take it easy."

She took a deep breath. She couldn't nag him here. It was not her place. He was in his element here. And, it was only once per year that he got to do this. She knew he was ultra-sensitive about spreading disease, and would do anything to prevent it. "Do what you'd like," she answered nonchalantly. This was my last class. I was going to relax before the mixer tonight. But, we can skip it if you'd like.

He never thought he'd see her in her element again. It wasn't like there were healer conventions – at least, not anymore. "We'll go to the mixer tonight. I'll be up in a few hours."

"We'll see how you feel," she said, then bit her lip. He hated being coddled. And, this wasn't the time or the place to emasculate him. She kissed him on the head. "I'll see you later," she said and retired to their rooms, concerned about the fever that she had just felt on her lips.

She stopped at the shopping area and picked up a few potions – fever reducers, cough suppressants and the like. She put them away, handy but out of sight. She knew he would be expecting her to be ready for the mixer. So, against her better judgment, she got ready.

Severus cleared his throat, which burned as though it were being cut by knives. He felt one hundred times worse than he did earlier. And, all it would take was a large sneeze or another coughing fit and Zia would have a headache and not want to go. And she would be taking care of him. Again.

He sighed. He longed to have her caring for him. Her hands soothing away his aches. Her care easing his fever. But, he loved watching her work a room. When she was away from Hogwarts, she was carefree – so lovely. Her smile lifted his heart in a way he'd never felt before. It was worth a few more hours of misery.

He snorted and cleared his throat. It wouldn't be easy to fool her, and he wasn't totally convinced that he wanted to. But, it was worth a shot.

Zia had noticed how sickly, weak and pale Severus seemed as soon as he walked into the room. His condition had deteriorated considerably. And, her instinct was confirmed from his wretched coughing that she could hear through the door before he walked in.

She took his hands and kissed him on the cheek. Concern shot through her like lightning. His hands were cold and clammy, a far cry from his normal hot, dry demeanor. Usually he was a furnace. But, it was obvious that he was trying to be strong for her. It was a sweet gesture, and Severus Snape was not known for his sweet gestures. So, she let him do it. She would have plenty of time to heal him afterwards anyway.

They stayed at the cocktail party just under an hour when she noticed that he was shaking. She kicked herself for ignoring him earlier and asked if they could retire for the evening.

"I'd rather not," he replied, plainly. "I get to see my equals only once per year, and it's rather a treat for me to be here now."

She sighed. Another outward show of strength.

Forty-five minutes later she found him leaning heavily on the bar, gasping for breath. Instead of acting concerned she tried a more deceitful tactic. She only hoped that he would be ill enough to fall for it.

"Hey, sweetie," she whispered, as she came up to him. "I'm getting a headache, could you please take me back to our room?" She squinted purposefully – like she did when she got migraines.

It worked.

He coughed and took a shaky step towards her. "Hetchshoo!" he sneezed suddenly, just barely catching it in the crook of his elbow.

"Bless," she whispered, unable to stop herself.

He gave her a withering look and blew his nose stuffily. "Come," he said leading the way. He took her arm sharply and tugged her out of the room. Her plan may have worked, but he was not happy about it.

She cringed. He was rarely that bullying towards her, and she knew it was only a testament to how poorly he was feeling.

Severus swallowed his nausea and blinked against the blurriness in his vision. He couldn't believe he had just snapped at her. It was incredibly probable that she had picked up whatever affliction he was suffering from, and from him no less. And, here he was snapping at her for asking for the same respect and care she gave to him willingly.

He swallowed again. He felt like he was on fire, but that his stomach and throat were intricately attached and that his bones were melting or were going to slide to his toes. He needed a bed. He needed it now.

**Author's note: Warning: Mentions of nausea and/or throwing up are coming up. Mostly they are in the beginning and they can be skipped without spoiling the story. But, if I were to skip writing them, the story wouldn't flow as well. I will put asterisks (*) before and after these parts, so that they can be skipped if necessary.**

Severus tucked Zia in as one would a child, showing how gentle he could be if he so cared to. He brushed back her hair and checked for a fever.

"I don't think your temperature is elevated," he said with a small cough. His voice was rough.

Zia placed a hand on his leg, to monitor his balance. His legs trembled beneath him as if he might fall over at any moment. "It's probably just an over stimulation thing. Love, please come to bed."

*******All at once he realized that he had been tricked. In mere seconds, his demeanor changed to one of annoyance. Severus glared at her. "I don't appreciate being tricked." He started to pale as the blood rushed to his stomach. He massaged his stomach gently.

"And, I don't appreciate being lied to," Zia countered, pushing herself into a sitting position.

Severus looked like he was going to say something, but instead a hand flew to his mouth and he ran into the bathroom, unable to even close the door behind him.

Zia sighed at the sounds of him getting ill. She uncovered herself and padded behind him.

With one hand he tried to wave her back, but supper kept coming up on him and he needed both arms to hold himself steady.

"Love," she said, sitting down beside him, and gently pulling his hair out of his face. *******

With a rough hand and too much power behind it, he pushed her backwards, causing her head to slam against the marble vanity. She whimpered when she heard – rather than felt the thunk. She sat for a moment, listening to the sounds of him continue to be ill, the ringing in her ears dissipating and her too loud thoughts interrupting the sounds.

She reached back tentatively, and was thankful that there was no blood, though an egg shaped welt was beginning to form. She winced at the sharp pain, drawing on her healer training to know whether it was just sore or something more serious. After, convincing herself that it was just a nasty bump, she crawled back over to Severus.

"I know… I know you don't want help, Severus. But, really – was that necessary?"

He went to do it again, but – anticipating it – she moved out of the way. "Okay, I'll leave you be. Please come to bed when you're done."

She found that she had a difficult time finding her feet, and ran a diagnostic spell on herself upon returning to bed. A mild concussion. She nodded, and forced herself to wander back into the bathroom.

"What do you want?" he growled at her.

"I'm sorry to bother you love. I'll leave you alone momentarily. I just need to get a healing draught."

"You have a real headache now?" he asked, malicious venom dripping with every work.

She nodded. "A mild concussion will do that to a girl." There was no malice in her voice. Just the statement of a simple truth.

She watched as a look of regret crossed his face. "From just now?" he whispered.

"Don't worry about it. I'm a healer. It's all part of the job." She quickly drank the draught, and was instantly overcome by dizziness as she healed. She gripped the same marble counter top that she had been injured with and braced for the impact of meeting the floor.

Suddenly, she felt Severus' strong hands around her upper arms. "Come to finish the job?" she whispered, her voice full of pain.

"Never," he said, regret nearly wafting off of him.

She could feel him strain to keep himself upright and pant as his stomach continued to cause problems. "Sev, it's okay," she assured him. "It's healing, I've got it."

In that second, she blacked out completely, totally missing his reply of, "And I've got you."

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Zia awoke feeling infinitely better. She looked to her side, Severus was curled up beside her, but not touching her. An exorbitant amount of heat radiated from his body.

"Oh, my sweet love. I do wish you didn't hide these things from me," she whispered. She scooted over and placed a hand on his sweating forehead. Quickly, she summoned for a basin of water and a few cloths. After applying the first wet cloth, he started to shake. But, she covered him with more blankets and finally he seemed comfortable.

Within a few minutes, however, he started to moan. At first she was concerned that he was going to be ill again, but she quickly realized that he was still sound asleep. She gathered him close to her, so that his head was resting on her shoulder, and dropped kisses onto him whenever he moaned. Every so often she would utter nonsensical words like, "It's okay, I'm here," and "Hush now, you're safe," but she sincerely hoped he didn't hear any of it.

After yet another kiss he muttered. "I do wish you'd stop doing that. You're keeping me quite conscious you know."

She handed over a glass of water. "I'll have you know dear, that you have been sleeping soundly for at least seven hours."

He took a sip and then handed the glass back to her. "I didn't say that I was awake, I said conscious. Really you are very dumb sometimes."

She sighed and kissed him again. "My apologies. Sometimes I am not used to your semantics."

Suddenly, he reached across her torso and pulled her closer to him. "'m sorry," he mumbled. "Didn't mean to snap."

She kissed him again. "It's okay dear." She summoned some of the healing potions from the other room. "Drink these. Sleep well, and we'll talk in the morning."

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When she awoke, it was morning. They were supposed to check out at eleven, but she wasn't certain that he would be well enough to do so. "Severus, my love?" she asked, petting his hair gently. His fever had gone down, but his temperature was nowhere near normal.

He snored in reply and she felt her troubles melt away. For him to feel safe enough to sleep deep enough to snore was a testament to how much he trusted her. "It's all right. Just rest," she whispered as she got out of bed and took a quick shower. She went downstairs to talk to the manager about possibly checking out later than originally planned.

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When Severus awoke he was totally alone. He remembered causing physical harm to Zia … _his_ Zia. He felt around the bed, but it was cold. He looked around the room. Her belongings were there, but she was not. "What have I done?" he asked himself, as tears began to well up in his eyes and the feeling that she had finally left him sunk in.

Certain that she was not coming back, he allowed himself to weep freely. He replayed her attempts to help him and his violent response from the night before, over and over, in his mind. By the time Zia came back to the room, he was so distraught he didn't hear her come back in.

"What is it, my love?" she asked, as she sat down next to him.

He looked with disbelief and quickly wrapped his arms around her, as he continued to sob.

"Shhhh, it's okay," she soothed. "I'm here. What's wrong."

"I'm sorry, so sorry," he repeated over and over.

"Severus, what's going on? What is it?" she asked, trying to get a coherent reply out of him.

"I thought you left."

"I did. But, just for a moment. It's okay. I'm still allowed to come and go as I please, yes?"

"Yes, but… but after last night… I … oh Z…." His tears started to run fresh.

She sighed. "What? Did something happen last night?" She couldn't be sure what he remembered from the night before, and she refused to allow him to apologize for something that he had dreamed.

"I pushed you into the sink. I gave you a concussion. I hurt you – badly. And that's an unforgivable. I've lost you forever. I just know it."

"Do I look lost? I should have known better, Sev. It's okay."

"No!" he looked at her seriously. "Had someone else hurt you like that I would have cast so many unforgivable curses on them they would wish they were never born. I do not have the right to hurt you – no matter how sick I'm feeling. Not ever."

"I appreciate the sentiment, and you're apology is accepted." She reached for the glass of water and handed it to him. "I booked us for another night. So, here, drink up and we'll snuggle some more. And, this time, I promise I won't keep you conscious."

He smiled. "Thank you."

At breakfast the next morning, Severus was silent.

Knowing how upset and feverish he had been the night before, Zia assumed it was general malaise, perhaps coupled with a sore throat and kept her thoughts to herself. It wasn't until he ordered a glass of orange juice with the upmost clarity did she realize that while he was most likely awash with malaise, there was also something else bothering – something deeper and more disturbing.

She kept her concerns to herself, only sending him a smile when she happened to catch him looking at her, until they apparated back to the castle. Once they were safely in his rooms she touched him lightly on the arm. "What is it, love?"

He snatched his arm out from under her hand. "Nothing. I just feel…" he sat down in a heap on his bed, "lousy."

She sat next to him and wiped a few wisps of his hair out of his face. "I know," she soothed. "Tell me how to make your special Pepper Up. I'll brew you a batch."

An expectant look crossed his face. Quickly he withdrew a green handkerchief and sneezed heavily into it.

"Poor dear," she soothed. She winced. He hated to be coddled, and her tone would do nothing to calm his nerves over what happened the night before. In fact, her acting out of character for them would only cause more distress. But, her deepest instincts forced to her to be caring at least. Very rarely had she seen him so ill, and she wanted nothing more than to hold him close and bear the brunt of the sneezing, whisper soothing things to him when the malaise made him moan, and make sure that he was confident that although he had caused her unintentional harm that she was still there for him and wasn't intending on leaving anytime soon.

But, as she looked at the scathing look he was giving her, she knew that she couldn't coddle him that way. In fact, the only thing he would respond well to was tough love – no matter how loathe she was to give it.

"Bless you. Now, are you going to give me the recipe or do I have to try to make it myself?"

"And have you poison me? I'll die from the disease first," he snapped at her. Instantly, he felt ashamed. Who was he to be cruel to her? He wanted to accept her kindness, but he could not – not after what he had done. Not knowing it was all coming to an end.

Suddenly he stood up. Although he swayed on his feet, he brushed off all of her offers of assistance. "I need to talk to Albus." He tried to sound stoic, but found it difficult through all the congestion.

She looked at him skeptically and pushed him back on the bed.

He fell in a heap and looked at her dejectedly through dazed feverish eyes. He suppressed a cough and sniffled wetly, suddenly aware that he could very possibly cough, sneeze, and cry all at once.

Noticing his distress, Zia knelt down in front of him. "My love, what is it?"

He saw the worried look in her eyes and sniffled again, this time certain that he was going to make a messy scene, at best, in front of her. Quickly, he brought his arm to his face. "Kuh-uh-huh-kuh-Hetschochoo!" He shook with the force of the sneeze and felt the bed shift next to him. He pulled out his handkerchief and blew wetly, collapsing into her outstretched arm afterwards.

She sighed and kissed him lightly. "I do wish you had told me you were feeling ill. We could have brewed some of your Pepper-Up and maybe stopped this early."

He sniffed in response. He said nothing to her, and wouldn't even look her in the eye.

"Come," she said, patting his leg lightly. "Let me fix you a bath and then we'll snuggle a bit before bed. Whatever you need to tell Albus, I'm sure it can wait until the morning."

If he was feeling better he would have come up with a scathing reply to the word 'snuggle'. If he had been feeling better, he would have agreed to the bath only if she was in it, too. And, even though he wanted to be himself, he didn't feel like himself. He felt ill, and terrified. "Hetchkechoo! Kszt!"

"Bless. And don't stifle them like that. You know it only makes your head ache." She handed him a clean handkerchief and went to draw his bath.

"In case I didn't notice. How kind of you to point my symptoms out to me," he replied sharply.

She paused to look at him sympathetically and gave him a quick shrug before headed out the door.

'Idiot!' he thought as he watched her go. 'You do an unforgivable, she forgives you and you snap at her? This will be the last night of your relationship of that I am certain.'

He heard the water start to run and got up to join her. She came in moments later. "Would you like me to help you strip?" she asked, with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

He nodded once, a flush rising in his cheeks., not because she had never laid eyes on his body, but because he couldn't do it without her. He nodded, but said nothing.

She cupped his cheek in her hand and kissed him firmly on the lips. "Now Severus, don't go getting embarrassed on me." She helped him shrug off his robe. "You know I find you one of the most attractive men I've ever known."

He snorted. "I'm not worth it," he muttered, pulling his shirt off.

She wasn't sure if it was the remnants of her concussion still pounding in her ears, or if she had heard him properly. His typical response ran the gambit from 'hardly' to 'I know'. But, this was new. And, it concerned her nearly as much as his illness did.

"Heh-Shisschoo!" He caught the sneeze in his palm, and disgustedly rubbed it off on his pants.

"Bless. Come now. You're bath should be just about ready."

He nodded, sleepily and allowed her to lead him in.

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"Hah-eh-huh-Ekesshchoo!" he sneezed wetly. Another sneeze was upon him and his shivered as Zia placed another blanket over him.

After a weary blow, he snuggled into her. "Dis was your plan, huh? Get me too sick to leave?"

"Who's leaving?" she asked, dropping a kiss on his very red nose.

"Huh-ekesshooo!" The force of the sneeze cast him forward and was caught completely in his handkerchief.

"Bless." She waited until he settled again to press the issue. "Really, Sev. You've been saying this for days." An idea crossed her mind. "Are you leaving me?" she asked, shocked, hurt, and slightly scared.

He looked at her, terrified. "No…no it's not, that… It's just… I … huh…," he brought his handkerchief back up to his face. "Ekessshoo!" He blew his nose quickly. "Zia, when we got back together… we said that there were some unforgivable acts." He sniffed wetly. As he blew his nose, he was overcome by a yawn.

"Take your time love," Zia allowed, secretly pleased that the bath was warm enough to not only relax him, but let him finally allow his symptoms to show. Too many years under Voldemort had made him perpetually fearful of showing any symptoms of illness, vulnerability, or weakness.

"One of those acts was unprovoked, undefended violence."

She nodded. "I remember." In their youth, they used to spar against each other after a particularly emotional or taxing day. Because of their roles in each of the wars, he was still in shape and able to do such things. However, she was losing her abilities. He could kill her without even trying. "Sev, are you thinking that I'm applying what happened the other day to this rule?"

He looked at her, his eyes full of seriousness. "I would. You were only trying to help, and I gave you a concussion."

"It was provoked," she offered, knowing that he was already angry with her by the time he pushed her.

"No!" He sat up and adjusted himself so he was looking her in the eye. "Zia, understand this. If anybody else had ever hurt you like that I would make sure that they could never use their arm again – if they survived the torture I'd put them through first. Just because you love me, do not make that override the offense."

"Severus, I lied to you – and was caught. You were hurt emotionally and sicker than you wanted me to know about. I smothered you and you reset the boundaries. Albeit you were harsher than I prefer, but it's not as if you make a habit of this. Besides, I'm a healer, I've survived worse…" she smiled as she thought of the first war, "from you."

"I was different," he said. "Times were different. I… I had no right then either."

"But, you weren't concerned about me. Not that way."

"You forgive me too much," he mumbled.

"And you don't forgive yourself enough." She guided his head back to her chest, and kissed the top of his head. "Just tell me when to step back, and I will. But, I need you to let yourself let me know when you're sick, so I don't have to try to be deceitful."

"I'm not mad at you," he said quietly.

"And, I'm not mad at you."

He sighed contently. "I'll … Kessshtt!"

"Bless. I'll try to be more aware of your embarrassment issues. I'll – pull back more." She played with his silky soft hair.

"No… I have to get used to the fact that you don't think less of me when I'm sick. You won't punish me for being weak. And, I'd rather force myself to remember that than lose such a precious part of you."

"I love you, Severus," she said, tears glistening in her eyes.

He smiled. He never said what he was thinking. Maybe 30 times in all the years they had been together. "I love you, too."


	3. 2 He Needed Her

_Zia,_

_I need you._

_Severus_

Zia looked the note, sent by owl.

'How strange,' she mused to herself, as she donned her cloak in a sweeping motion, which made the silk lined fabric float over her shoulders as if by magic. The note in of itself would have been enough for her to raise an eyebrow and sense the duress of the situation. However, for him to have jotted it off by owl, without recalling that she tended not to receive owls and even less-so believed the ones she did.

She went to her fireplace and summoned Dumbledore, who was in hiding from the Ministry. Dumbledore had given her a way to contact him incase anything should happen. She pulled up the floorboards in her crawlspace and pulled out an onyx box that Severus had given her for her birthday the year before. She said the spell to unlatch the lock and cycled the side codexes. When she heard the proper sequences of clicks, she slid the lid open and pulled out a black velvet bag and unfolded the black velvet within it. She pulled out the mirror that he had given her for just such an occasion.

"Albus?" she asked, solemnly.

"My dear," he came back with after a moment. "What has happened?"

"Severus has sent me the most alarming of owls," she said, without further explanation.

"An owl? How strange." It was well known that Zia did not accept owls. It was too dangerous for her to be social. The Dark Lord had wiped out most soul healers in the first war. So, she was very consistent in the way she received post. Severus, her long time boyfriend, would have known better.

"Yes. Is there anything going on at Hogwarts that he would be unable to handle?"

"All I know of is the usual," he started, meaning that he was working as a double agent and trying to convince Headmistress Umbridge that he was only a potions master. "And that I instructed him to teach Harry occulmancy."

She nodded. She knew of one thing that could happen that would unnerve Severus enough to forget her communications rules.

"But, I caution you," Dumbledore continued on. "Should you decide to go, Dolores is monitoring all of the chimneys. "

She nodded simply. "I'll go through Hogsmeade. The willow," she indicated.

"Hm. No. You'll get on the grounds, but not in the castle. Do you have any polyjuice potion?"

"Not brewed," she replied as though the question in of itself was crazy. "And what would I put in it?"

"Perhaps a hair of Severus'?" he suggested.

"No, but if you have polyjuice in stasis, I have something that should work just as well."

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Zia hurried along the passageway between Hogsmeade and Whomping Willow. Luckily, she had chosen to travel at night. Unluckily, the effects of the polyjuice would not last much longer and his body was far more difficult to control than hers. She came up under the sleeping willow and shouldered her pack. She had to get to the dungeons most expediently.

"Professor Snape!" A shrill woman's voice called to her. "What are you doing?"

'Of course I couldn't have run into Minerva or Filius,' she thought. "Headmistress," she said, silkily, being careful to enunciate as he would. "Merely standing in the moonlight. I shall retire now."

"What is so important about being out after curfew?" she snapped.

She made a show of shouldering her pack. "As you well know, some of the ingredients of the veritisum only bloom at night. I was collecting."

"Hm!" She seemed quite put out at the answer.

"Excuse me Headmistress," she said as she walked past.

By the time she got down to the dungeons her eyes had returned to normal, although her face and hair had yet to. She was starting to shrink down to her size, as he was several inches taller than she. Her voice had switched back to herself, but she still had his body. Getting into his room was going to be interesting.

She knocked three times paused. While she readied herself to knock again he called out, "Go away!"

She knocked the fourth time and waited.

He paused. "Not tonight!"

She wondered who else he would be expecting. Who else would know their knock? Perhaps other members of the Order.

'This is going to be interesting,' she thought. "Severus let me in!" she demanded.

When there was no other response she undid his wards, as he had taught her to do years before, and walked in, just as she returned to her normal shape and size.

She walked into the darkened room and saw him, his arms spread wide on the table, leaning heavily over it.

"Severus, are you well?" she asked coming to stand beside him.

After a long pause and a shaky breath he responded. "He saw."

"Who saw? The Dark Lord? What did he see?"

"No," Severus breathed. He cast a withering glare at her. "Harry. He saw into my mind."

She nodded. Smart boy that Harry Potter, turning around an occulmancy lesson.

"He saw what his father, what his god-father did to me. He saw me alone, huddled in the bathroom. He saw them all."

"Here, Severus. I'm here," she said, silkily as she moved away to give him space and started making tea. "Let's have a cuppa tea."

When she was finished, she brought the cups into the sitting room. Severus had not moved from his spot.

"Did he respond?" she asked, taking a seat in her armchair, which was semi-parallel to his.

"He saw…" he repeated.

"Yes, I followed. Severus it's over. Maybe he'll lose some of that hero worship he has of his father and god-father. "

"He saw me weak." He whispered, wobbly on his feet as he came over to join her in the sitting area.

"You are not now nor have you ever been weak, Severus. And it's when you learned that you were not weak that you started living for yourself and stopped doing so for others, like Malfoy."

"You may leave," he demanded.

"You're not weak," she said in a stubborn tone. "You were strong to make it through Hogwarts. Strong to – as a half-blood – become one of the Dark Lords closest advisors. Strong to earn Dumbledore's trust and to protect Lily and Harry at all costs. You are not a weak man. But, if you do what I think you're going to do… if you stop teaching Harry – you're proving you're intimidated by him."

"I am not!" he roared.

"Then prove it!" she yelled back. "Teach him!"

"That's been taken out of my hands. But, how do I look at him knowing that he knows that his family tormented me."

"His family…" she said, calmly.

"Yes, James and Sirius."

"And Lily?"

The teacup slammed her in the side of her head. "Ow!" she exclaimed, withdrawing her wand.

"I'm sorry." He was at her side the moment the apology was uttered. He must have moved to her side as soon as the teacup left his hands.

"You contemptible little," she seethed.

He reached for her hands and took them within his own cold ones. He was generally exothermic, so the fact that he was cold worried her. "Are you well?"

"Apparently, not as well as I had thought," he responded, as he healed up the side of her head.

"You can't full me," she dead-panned. "Lily hurt you too. Maybe even deeper than James and Sirius. But, Harry is not James or Sirius, no matter how much he may look like them. He wasn't even raised with them. He harbors none of their prejudices. Only those you have inflicted him."

She pulled away from him forcefully. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find a way off the grounds." As she got ready to go, she started to talk again. "You sent a letter that you needed me. In fact you did not. Next time I will not answer."

He went to kiss her good-bye and she let him. As soon as their lips touched he leaned his forehead into hers and started to weep.

Silently, she wrapped her arms around him and let him. She didn't say a word. She would come the next time that he needed her.


	4. 25 Thornbury

Timeline: Post 2nd War

Title: Thornbury

Summary: While on vacation at Thornbury Castle, Severus comes down with a cold. However, in order to counteract it he takes Pepperup, but accidently overdoses. This leaves Zia to care for him, even as he lashes out emotionally and physically.

**Authors Note: **A friend of mine asked to be written into one of my stories – and got to choose his own character. He chose Snape. So, if my characters don't seem typical for my usual stories, that is why. This story is brought up in others, however, so it's worth the read, even if it's just for the plot line.

The idea of a soul healer is Superimmungirl's and has been used (and added to) with her permission.

Look up 'Thornbury Castle' and take a look at the rooms. Just. Wow.

Lost reviews are listed here:

Siaren11/17/11 . chapter 15: jag grät

stargazer060712/14/09 . chapter 14: Thanks for the update!

stargazer060711/21/09 . chapter 10: Excellent chapter.

jennifer 11/21/09 . chapter 10 : Fantastic! Please continue!

firefly515111/17/09 . chapter 9: Poor Severus. He sounds so miserable.

Healer Pomfrey11/16/09 . chapter 9: Great chapter. More please!

Healer Pomfrey11/7/09 . chapter 6: Loved it so far! Thank you so much for writing and sharing this with us :-)

firefly515111/2/09 . chapter 5: All I've got to say is...excellent! I can't wait to read more.

firefly515111/1/09 . chapter 2: You are sure fast at updating. Poor Sev. I hope his cold doesn't ruin his plans.

11/1/09 . chapter 1: Yippee! Another fic from you. Great start on this one. I do have one question. Now it's been a while since I read your other HP fics, but was Zia always a drama teacher at Hogwarts? I thought she was only a healer. Maybe I need to go back and re-read your other fics.

In the meantime, please update soon!

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Severus inhaled deeply and stretched. It was his and Zia's first anniversary of their new relationship – after the second war. He sighed as a weary feeling settled into his bones. He had put her through so much in such a little time. First, just getting to know him could be a trying exercise in futility. He was not an easy person to get along with, let alone get to know. He could respect, yet barely stand most of the staff at Hogwarts – though after the war he started working for the Ministry. He knew he wasn't welcomed at Hogwarts. And, he didn't want to go back. He couldn't go back.

Staff at the Ministry was more tolerable – each doing their own work and not bothering him unless their work coincided. But, he couldn't respect them as much. The staff at Hogwarts may have been meddling, well-meaning people. But, they fought for what they believed in – no matter what the cost. The Ministry was full of sell-outs, double agents, and political social climbers. With the extreme exception, they were a loathsome bunch. And, it sickened him to be counted among them.

Even before he had killed Dumbledore, turned his back on both Zia and the Order, attacked Zia in order to prove his loyalties to the Death Eaters he had pushed people away. He couldn't risk anybody getting to know him – _really _getting to know him. They knew he was a strict, sallow, angry man who tormented his students.

Then there was Zia. Zia had been a healer during the first war, and worked odd jobs until Dumbledore brought her in as a drama teacher. She had worked with Severus during the first war, and seemed to take a peculiar interest in him. Through painstaking conversations, attempts at caring which turned into violent screaming matches, and duels to vent out frustrations he discovered three things. One: Zia was just as angry and disillusioned with the first war as he was. Two: finally, someone understood that his heart had been turned cold by the lack of love and understanding that he had received throughout his life. And, three: that he wasn't hard on the students because he hated them – even the children of those he'd fought against in the first war. He was hard on them because he knew they had to be the best in order to survive the [then] brewing second war.

With patience, understanding, and a whole lot of love, she had broken through his angry exterior and gotten to know a person that Severus, himself, had never gotten a chance to know.

A shiver shook his body as he thought about how much pain his had caused her. And tears pricked his eyes when he thought of how much love, patience, and understanding it took for her to get to know him the first time, and then forgive him enough to take him back the second.

Against all odds, they had survived one full year since they decided to try their relationship again. Severus had planned to take her to the Queen's Theatre to see her favorite play, 'Les Miserables', and then out to dinner, and then finally to the Thornbury Castle Hotel – somewhere she had wanted to go all her life, where they could spend two days relaxing in high style. He wished he could give her more, but they couldn't take more time off work, and he knew that she would be wary enough accepting this.

He quickly swallowed a vial of Pepper-Up and started to cough. He was hoping that it was because some had gone down the wrong pipe. But, he knew that he was probably getting sick. 'Damn,' he thought to himself, as he packed a few handkerchiefs and stuck one in his pocket, as well as one in his breast pocket. He also put a thin vial of double strength Pepper-Up in his breast pocket. It was a home brew, but nothing was going to ruin the precious special time they had together.

Severus blew his nose lightly before he got in the car. He had acquired a 1957 Convertible Corvette – black of course, and even taken lessons to learn how to drive it. Upon their getting back together, Zia fell in love with the car – possibly even faster than she fell back in love with him.

She had dressed beautifully this evening. She let her black hair fall in soft curls around her shoulders, and didn't dye out the streaks of silver that he hadn't recalled her having before. She wore a deep green halter gown, made of silk chiffon. Her bag and shoes were gold, and she wore the necklace he had given her all those years ago.

The Pepper-Up that he had taken early had helped – he didn't feel so weary anymore. But, his nose was still tickling in a way that he knew meant trouble.

"Sev? Are you okay?" She saw the pocket square sticking out of his back pocket. And, he had folded another elegantly in the breast pocket of his blazer. She had the feeling that he wasn't feeling well, but it wasn't anything that she could put her finger on.

Severus stuffed his handkerchief up his sleeve. Zia's voice was full of concern. Too much concern for a tickle in his nose. "Yup," he said, noncommittally. "Put this on," he said, handing her a handkerchief.

She immediately bristled. Her eyes, which had been full of concern were suddenly full of mistrust. "No," she stated plainly.

He mentally kicked himself. He had relied on the trust that they once had. He hadn't taken into account the lack of trust that she now had for him. And, who could blame her, really? But, the icy stare she was giving him now was withering away at his confidence. And, he felt it was ruining the night.

Zia could tell from the look in his eyes that he hadn't meant to do her any harm. But, she could not bring herself to trust him. Not so soon. "Just don't tell me where we're going, and I won't ask any questions. I'll be surprised anyway."

Severus nodded, and started the car. He jumped when he felt Zia's gloved hand on his arm. "Put it down," she whispered, a twinge of giddy excitement in her voice.

He smiled as he lowered the top of the car. The cool air hit them, and sent a shiver down his spine. But, she hadn't noticed. He stole a glance at her, and smiled at the elated look on her face. She looked like she was flying.

She felt like she was flying. Her job kept her away from brooms, as did the one as a healer. She was never on the fighting side of the order, not even on the recovery. She was the one who got to put them all back together afterwards though. But, now, with the wind in her hair, brushing past her cheeks, she felt like she was free on a broom. Even if the night ended at this moment, Severus would have given her a thrilling night, the likes of which he would never understand.

Severus smiled as Zia listened to the man who had regaled them as Jean Valjean. He was inviting the audience to the pub across the street to mingle with the actors. Her face was full of hope and joy.

He nodded and suppressed a cough. She didn't have to ask. He knew what she wanted to do. The other restaurant would be expecting them within the hour, but this was more important than a ritzy meal. This night was a thank you to her for taking him back. How could he not give her something so small? "I'll be right back," he whispered and then headed towards the men's room.

He coughed violently and shook under the strain. Brushing his hair out of his eyes, he found a small corridor and took a few steps down. He calmed his coughing then apparated to the restaurant. After cancelling the reservation, he apparated back. It worried him that such a small amount of energy wiped him out so thoroughly.

He fingered the double strength Pepper Up in his pocket. He, better than anybody, knew the danger in taking Pepper Up twice in a 24 hour period. While it would make the symptoms go away completely for a full 24 hours, it would make his cold, or whatever he was fighting off, at least twice as bad as it would have been without it. A sneeze tickled his sinuses, threatening to come out.

He shook his head. It wasn't worth it. Not yet.

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The candle lit pub cast shadows around the room, which was packed with actors and fans. Zia and Severus had been lucky enough to find a booth in a corner. It wasn't cleared off yet, but they knew better than to be picky. Besides, it wasn't anything a quick spell couldn't handle. And, the pub was so busy nobody even noticed.

Zia looked at Severus. This night was truly magical. They were posing as muggles, her favorite game – his least favorite. He was wearing the necklace she had given him – a silver chain with a hedgehog charm. It was her anigmus. She didn't think that this anniversary was going to be anything special, but he had proven her wrong. And, her gift to him made her feel small and insignificant in comparison.

That's when she noticed it. He sneezed. But, not in the way a normal person would – or even the way he would, if he were feeling comfortable enough to do so. It was a Death Eater sneeze. One that started with a wrinkle of his forehead and then a hard closing of his eyes and a small head bob. Hardly noticeable to the untrained eye. But, her eyes were trained.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked.

He smiled. "I think I might be coming down with something," he admitted. "But, it's nothing to worry about," he added quickly.

She noticed his color. She had thought he was a little paler than normal, but the lighting in the theatre and in the pub cast eerie shadows, and she couldn't be sure. But, for him to admit that he wasn't feeling good – that was an issue. In the past, even when he had been bedridden by the flu, he would still try to tell her he was feeling better. She couldn't recall a single instance when he had freely told her he was feeling poorly.

"Do we need to leave?" she asked.

He shook his head, giving a quick Death Eater sneeze at the end. "After food," he replied with a bit of congestion in his voice.

She nodded, and took his hand across the table. She wanted to switch to his side of the booth and hold him close, but she knew that this wasn't the time or the place to do such things. He was coming down with something, she was certain of it. But, she didn't want to embarrass him, nor did she want to draw any undue attention.

Zia clung to his arm as they left the pub. He had never seen her laugh so hard or smile so much. A thought had dawned on him, as he watched her listen to the actors stories of life on the road: in all their years together, they had never spent time away from the wars. Even between wars, they were working on preventing the next one, or dealing with fall out from the last one.

"Etchsoo!" he sneezed to the side. He blinked hard, and sniffled wetly.

"Bless," she said, trying to mask her concern, but failing miserably at it. "Are you sick? Should we head back to your place?"

He put up a finger in anticipation of the next sneeze. "Etchshoo!" He withdrew his handkerchief from his sleeve, took a few steps away, and blew into it. By the time he was done Zia had caught up with him.

"You've been hiding this all night?" she asked, brushing his hand and trying to test his body temperature.

"It's just some dust. Nothing to be concerned about. Come," he said, leading her back to the car.

She didn't believe him, but she knew better than to push it. She let him lead her to the car, and watched him as they drove off to the next point.

Severus felt the weight of her stare on him as he drove. How could he have been so stupid as to sneeze in front of her? This was going to ruin everything. She was going to go 'healer' on him and they would lose the magic of the weekend.

"What are you teaching the kids?" he asked trying to break the awkward silence.

"Dance."

"I thought Minerva taught that?" He suppressed a cough, and felt her stiffen.

"Well, she teaches the waltz. I'm teaching the polka and the gavotte."

"What the hell do they have to do with each other?"

"Nothing, but that's what the kids said they wanted to learn," she answered. He was right, the two dances had absolutely nothing to do with each other. But, they were really enjoying learning them, so she was teaching it. "The kids even want to have a 'after classes' program where they can learn more in their off time. The Headmaster thinks it's a great idea. So, I'll start the call for students on Monday."

He smiled. "That's great."

"You don't get why, do you?" she asked, skeptically.

"I love to dance. And, I'm pleased that society is calm enough that we can bring it back in. I'm just surprised so many kids are interested."

"To tell you the truth, I was too," she admitted with a smile.

"Maybe it's the beauty of the teacher," he said, smiling at her.

She smiled in return. "Maybe."

(For descriptions even I can't adequately get across, use this as a reference on what the rooms looked like: . /)

Zia spent the next 20 minutes walking around their rooms in utter awe. "This is AMAZING!" she shouted, again. For the first time since she could remember not only was she speechless, but even her thoughts had stopped. She didn't let herself think about how much the room must have cost. She made herself believe that he had called in a favor. She had to, otherwise she would feel as though she was obligated to him. And that was a vicious cycle neither of them wanted to start.

He smiled at her and took in a shuddering breath. Tears pricked his eyes again. Never in his wildest imagination could he have hoped of ever making anyone so happy. 'Lily,' he thought, 'I wish you could see this.'

He sniffed wetly and winced. A headache was forming at the back of his eyes and his throat ached every time he swallowed. "Ecshoo!" he sneezed into a cupped hand. "I'm fine!" he called out before Zia could bless him, again.

Zia came in, her eyes serious. "You're sick."

"A little," he admitted.

Much to his surprise she didn't insist they go home immediately. Instead, she furrowed her brow in concern. She tsked him and sat down on the bed, inviting her to join him. Gently, slowly, she felt his forehead, cheeks and neck.

He smiled, despite how miserable he was starting to feel, and leaned into her touch. In the past year, they had shared many types of touch. But, caring touch was something that she kept to herself, only bringing out when absolutely needed. And, until now, it wasn't needed at all.

She sighed. "I was wondering if you wanted to take a bubble bath in the Jacuzzi, but I'm fairly certain…"

"I'm fine," he said, a little too eagerly.

She smiled wickedly. "I'm sure you are." She sighed and got up, brushing his cheek gently. "Do you have Pepper Up, or should I get some from my bag?"

"You brought potions?" he asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Of course I did. Like I ever go anywhere without tea and potions – just in case."

He nodded, watching the world bob out of synch with the motion, which made him a little seasick. He smiled, trying to mask his true feelings.

"Don't even try to mask it, sweetie. You're pale – even for you. How bad are you feeling, really?"

He smiled against the pain and malaise. "Not as bad as all that." He drew the vial of double strength Pepper-Up out of his pocket. "See, I had it on me all night."

She smiled vibrantly. "Good. Now, take it, and join me in the Jacuzzi in ten minutes."

He stared at the vial of red liquid. 'It's worth it,' he thought, as he drank it in one gulp and prepared for the onslaught immune responses about to overwhelm his system.

Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus *

Zia and Severus lay snuggled in each other's arms in a nest of covers that they set up in front of the fireplace. She sighed happily and snuggled into his warm, strong arms.

"Gold for your thoughts?" he asked, combing through her hair slowly.

"Just never thought we would be granted this much intimate time. Always thought our jobs would get in the way."

He nodded and kissed the top of her head. "I know. Me too."

They were quite for a few minutes. "Heard your immune response. Those were some pretty violent coughs… and sneezes. You don't typically sneeze, Sev. Only when you're really sick. What's going on?"

He hugged her close. "Don't worry about it. I've handled it. Tonight: tonight belongs to us. He felt 100% better. It was like he hadn't been sick at all.

He embraced the feeling of love, the feeling of being wanted. He felt her fingers run up and down his legs and torso. The heat from the fire warmed his skin the way that her touch warmed his heart. He'd won her back.

He'd won her back.

Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus *

The next day, Zia and Severus woke up late and spent hours in bed, not having to be anywhere. They enjoyed the touches, caresses, smells, tastes, and emotions from each other. They relished the fact that nobody wanted them this weekend. They didn't have to be anywhere or do anything. They were lost in each other, and they wouldn't have had it any other way.

That afternoon, they took a horse drawn carriage and toured the manor homes of the surrounding areas. They laughed at the ignorance of muggles, as they realized that key homes on the tour were the homes of wizards and witches of old. There were 'markings' in the fireplaces that were indicative of wizarding kind. But, muggles had no knowledge of it.

They had a scrumptious dinner, provided by Thornbury Castle. Then they retired to their room to enjoy one last night in the Jacuzzi.

Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus *

Zia emerged from the bathroom wearing a long silky gown which showed off her aging figure in perfectly flattering way. It had taken her weeks to find it, and she couldn't wait to see Severus' response.

"Well?" she asked, looking at the bed. But, Severus was asleep, snoring soundly.

She snickered, but wasn't surprised. "You always did fall to sleep when you were comfortable. Glad I could help." She walked over to the bed and started pulling down the covers. "Come on hon, under the covers."

But, he didn't budge.

"Sev, get under the covers," she said louder, pulling on his arm. She withdrew sharply. His skin was burning hot.

"Severus!" she called loudly. But, he remained asleep.

She crawled on the bed and laid a healing hand on his forehead. She swore as she thought about the egg she could fry on it.

Her memories raced to the night before – his cold. The immune response. She hopped down off the bed and ran to the bathroom, picking up the champagne bucket along the way. She filled it with warm water and immersed two washcloths inside.

Upon getting back to the bed, she put one on his forehead, and the other she slipped under the back of his neck.

He woke up briefly. "Cold," he mumbled.

"I know, sweetheart. You need to get under the covers."

He nodded and let her tuck him in.

After he drifted back off, she took a good look at him. If she had thought he was pale the night before, he was ghostly now. The dark circles under his eyes were so pronounced he looked like he had gotten into a fight. And with every snore he sounded more congested, and his nose and cheeks held a pinker hue.

Zia watched him sleep for a few minutes. He never went straight to sleep. He always had to empty his mind of random thoughts first. Sometimes they were about work at the Ministry; sometimes they were random thoughts about the Death Eaters or Voldemort; other times they were thoughts about what they were or what they are. But, never, in all the years they had been together, did she recall him simply falling asleep.

She was concerned when she realized he was coming down with something. She was worried when he said he had brought Pepper-Up, since he never did like to take potions. Now, she was downright scared.

She crept into the bathroom and gazed at herself in the mirror. She didn't know where all the lines on her face came from or the streaks of gray in her hair. She was pretty once – well twice really. She was a beautiful redhead as Jada and then a beautiful raven-haired woman as Zia. But, years of Wars and healing had taken its toll on her, and she wasn't as beautiful anymore. "Not only are my looks going, but my wits as well," she berated herself, pulling on her jeans and a sweater.

She pulled out her wand, "Luminos incendo," she whispered. A tiny flame appeared at the tip of her wand. She tugged up her shirt sleeve and touched the tip to her arm. Two seconds after it touched her skin, it burned out. She winced at the pain, but didn't flinch and didn't make a sound. "That'll teach me. More observant. I've got to be more observant. I'm slipping," she admonished herself again. "Serium serveros," she whispered, waving her hand at the burn mark. Instantly, it vanished leaving only a darker mark behind. Her arms were littered with them from years of self infliction. She called them freckles.

Remus and Tonks knew better. Remus caught her ages before. He used to count her scars, but after years of the number remaining the same, he backed off. It was Tonks who'd pointed out the probability of her creating old freckles on new freckles. When the freckles deepened in color Remus would threaten to tell Severus. But, he never did. Zia was never sure of why.

She tugged her sleeve back down and walked into the bedroom. He was snoring softly, which was better than snoring loudly. The louder he snored, the more congested he was. Hopefully, the Pepper-Up was healing him while he slept.

A nagging through crept into the back of her mind though. Severus wasn't stupid – nor was he any stranger to illness or injury. He had to have known he was getting sick. And, this weekend was far too important to him for him not to have taken something before hand – or maybe something stronger than Pepper-Up.

She slipped her hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out the slim vial. She squinted her eyes as she looked at it. These were not his typical vials. She opened the stopper and was hit with a wave of peppermint. "Geez, Sev, how much did you take?" she muttered.

With a flash of brilliance, she stepped into the fireplace and took the floo network to Remus' place.

Stepping out of the fireplace, she nearly scared Tonks to death. She was in her bathrobe, showing Zia that she and Remus were having a similar day to her and Severus.

"Sorry for the intrusion, but I need to know if Remus can analyze this for me," she said holding out the vial.

"I thought you two were going away for the weekend?" she said, taking the vial.

"Long story. If he needs me, we can be found at Thornbury Castle."

She raised her eyebrows. "Thornbury? Wow."

Zia nodded. "I have to get back. As soon as you can get that to me?"

Tonks nodded, "I'll get it to him right now."

"I appreciate it Tonks, really. Sorry for imposing on your weekend. I wouldn't if-."

"You wouldn't if it wasn't of dire importance. I know." Tonks smiled. "Go back. Remus will follow up with you in a few hours."

Zia nodded and sighed. "Thanks."

"I'd better get an explanation," Tonks said in a teasing voice.

"You will, and trust me, it's a doozy," Zia said, stepping back into the fireplace.

When Zia reached the fireplace gate, she found it staunchly locked.

She swore to herself as she realized that he must have woken up and locked the floo without thinking about it. She exited through the next fireplace, catching their upstairs inhabitants in a rather compromising position.

She wiped their memories and unlocked the door to their rooms. Severus was sitting on the bed, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Where'd you go?"

"I needed to drop something off with Remus," she replied nonchalantly.

"Why do you always run to him when I am ill? Do you really want to embarrass me like that?" He coughed harshly and she winced and the sound that resonated from his chest.

"Sweetheart, I'm not talking to him about that. I wouldn't."

"You would, and you have. You need not lie about it. I've known you too long." He gave her a half smile and noticed that she didn't smile back.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, as she stepped into the bathroom.

"Lousy," he answered honestly.

She stepped out within minutes, and he couldn't be sure, but he thought he smelled burning flesh.

"What are your symptoms?" she asked, sitting next to him.

He snuggled into her. "Just so tired. And," he quickly turned away from her, pulling out his handkerchief. "Ketcsshh!" he sneezed wetly. He groaned and flopped back onto her. "My head 'urts."

"Sneezing, coughing?" she prodded.

He nodded, "But, they just seem to make the fever – I mean headache worse."

She nodded and kissed him on his head. "Come on. Lay back down," she said, gently guiding him back onto the bed. "I'll snuggle with you."

He smiled and held her close, only relinquishing hold when he had to sneeze or cough. Suddenly, he let go completely.

"What's wrong?" she asked, rubbing his back, as he struggled to sit up.

"Don't want to infect…ketcshhh!"

"Bless. This is not something you have to worry about."

But, one look at him told her he was still worried.

"Okay, so come here, and you'll lean on me. That way _I_ get to hold you close, and you don't have to worry about infecting me."

He sniffed and nodded sleepily. "Sounds good," he said as he laid down in her arms.

She kissed him again. She waited until he drifted off and called the concierge. They would not be able to check out any time soon.

Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus *

"I'm sorry, Ma'am," the front desk argued with her. But, it's our civic duty not to let you leave while Master Snape is ill. You must take up residence in the Guesthouse. It's quite lovely, with all of the amenities. I'm sure you'll find it quite to your liking, and stocked with whatever you should need to help him feel better."

"Sir," she argued, "I don't think you understand…"

"No, Madam. It is you who does not understand. With the Novel H1N1 virus we are under strict instruction not to let anyone who is ill leave the premises. I'm sorry, but it's the rules of the county."

She sighed. "Look, we don't make enough for this…" she started.

"Master Snape has quite good credit here," the man began again. "Besides, we are obligated to keep you here free of charge."

She sighed. "Fine. Then I'll help him move and have our belongings down there within the hour."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

The concierge gave her a tour of the guesthouse ( castles/thornbury/the_ ), which included a fireplace – thereby suiting their needs nicely.

"Will ye need help moving him, miss?" the young man asked.

"No, thank you," she said, envisioning the room and placing the portkey. "He won't care for that one bit." At the man's skeptical look she added, "But, you need not be worried – I'll keep him away from the other guests. By the way, how long are we to stay here?"

"Til at least a week after his fever breaks."

She paled. That would never do – they needed to work… the next day in fact.

He seemed to notice. "You can leave miss. Just as long as you don't become ill yourself." He paused and then continued in a hushed tone. "You'll be apparating then?"

She stopped and looked at him skeptically. "Excuse me?"

"I didn't mean anything by it, miss. I went to school a few years behind Master Snape. Hogwarts was not kind to either of us. It's why I choose to live among the muggles."

She nodded.

"I'll be sure everyone vacates the guesthouse immediately," he said, turning to leave.

"You are most kind," she said watching him go.

She sat on the bed, and shook Severus awake. "Come on love, I need to you wake up."

He shook her off and shook his head no.

She shook him again. "Yes, you have to. I need you to wake up." She gently kissed his forehead and noticed his fever was on the rise again. And, she noticed immediately, he was dehydrated.

She ran to the bathroom and brought out a cool, wet washcloth. She placed it in between his lips and gently instructed him to drink. She watched his lips gently pulling out the liquid.

"Sev, come on," she said, in a more serious tone, pulling him into a sitting position.

He looked at her blearily, his eyes glazed with fever. He grunted at her in question.

"Just hold still," she said, wrapping her arms around him.

He whimpered slightly, and curled his legs around her.

She held him close and shushed him.

With a pop, they arrived in the guesthouse living room. Slowly, she helped him to his feet and guided him into the bedroom. He collapsed onto the bed with another whimper. She climbed onto the bed with him and wrapped him securely in the comforter.

He grunted angrily, throwing off the covers and snuggling into her. Then his whimpered as if he was in pain.

"You okay, love?" she asked. She winced at the question. Such a stupid question. She made a mental note to teach herself a lesson later.

He shook his head, his long hair falling into his eyes. She brushed them away tenderly, her fingers brushing his still too hot and dry forehead.

"You need water," she whispered, making to get down.

He grasped onto her tightly. "No," he whispered. He coughed and choked.

"You're stomach?" she whispered.

He shuddered and coughed again, grasping her even tighter.

She pet his hair and settled onto the bed. He obviously didn't want her to go. Losing the physical connection now could be disastrous – no matter how short the time would be.

Finally, he relaxed and his hold on her released. Quickly, she went and opened up the floo, making sure it was attached to the floo network. To her relief it was. She was about to go let Remus know where they were when the fire sprang to life, and Remus stepped out.

"Overdose," Remus said, as soon as he stepped out of the fireplace.

"But, how did you," Zia started, trying to figure out how he knew where they were.

"No time," Remus interjected. "He took a double dose of highly concentrated Pepper Up."

She groaned and sighed, all at once. The groan was because he knew better – and the over dose could easily make him ill for the next week or more. She sighed because she knew it wasn't permanent or serious. It was just terribly annoying.

"Thank you for testing that for me," she said, as she walked into the kitchen. "Would you like something for your cold? I don't know what they have here, but I'm sure I can whip something up."

Remus' head bobbed in a silent sneeze. "How did you know?"

"You're nose is pinked. It's a giveaway every time."

He nodded. "I'll take some water."

"And?" she prodded, pouring him water. She poured herself a glass of water, and poured some for Severus.

"Z, you've got your hands full with Severus. Tonks'll take good care of me." He sniffed softly.

She scrubbed a hand over her face. "Yes, of course. Sorry. Old habits die hard."

Remus looked at her funny and then turned around to sneeze harshly.

"Blessings," she said, handing him his glass.

"Thangs," he replied stuffily. He steadily drank his water, while Zia sipped hers. She looked at him expectantly, trying to keep the balance of: concern for him, allowing him to have time to drink his water, and wanting more information regarding the potion Severus took.

Remus finished his water and handed her back the glass. "Thank you. I needed that."

She nodded. "You said the potion was highly concentrated. How highly concentrated are we talking?"

He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. "Triple."

She paused. "You mean, he took six times the allowable dose?"

Remus nodded tentatively.

Zia couldn't tell if he was concerned and stunned, as she was, or if he was about to sneeze again. But, she noticed slowly, she didn't really care.

"Can you call St. Mungos?" she asked.

Remus could tell that she was on automatic shutdown mode. Her eyes were unfocused and her voice had turned monotone. "Z?"

"He can't work tomorrow… in fact… he'll be lucky to live until tomorrow…"

"Well, he's surely been sick by now, no?" Remus asked, trying to comfort her.

She shook her head. "His body has been trying to process the potion – not expel it."

A wave of coldness washed over Remus. A dosage that high could kill someone – especially if they digested it.

"We should take him to St. Mungo's," Remus said suddenly. "They'll know what to do."

"Remus!" Zia nearly shouted. "He _works_ there! They'll see this as a purposeful overdose. He'll lose his job!"

Remus nodded, ignoring the tickle that was building up. "Would you rather he lost his life?"

The color drained from Zia's face and she felt her knees give way.

With reflexes he didn't know his cold ridden body would allow, Remus caught her and lowered her into a chair. "I'll go get the Medi-witches. They'll come here to get him."

She nodded. "Thank you, Remus," she stuttered not moving anywhere.

He took a handful of floo powder and looked at her. "Zia, you have to move, Now!" he yelled.

Instantly, her mind snapped to attention and she bolted up the stairs.

Remus nodded. "St. Mungo's!" he commanded as he threw down the floo powder.

_Author's Note: This next bit includes vomiting. If this grosses you out I suggest you skip this chapter. But, in a drug overdose, you can't expect much less. As per usual, I will put asterisks on either side of the offending texts, so that they can be skipped. _

The Medi-Witches apparated on site and followed Zia to the room where Severus continued to sleep.

Her longstanding knowledge of both medicine and Severus let them allow her to stay in the room. Whereas Remus was sent home.

"How long has he been like this?" the first witch asked. She wore long purple robes, and was performing a diagnostic spell.

"His fever spiked last night. But, he's been progressively getting worse. At least yesterday and last night he HAD symptoms. Now he's just sleeping – giving in."

Both witches shook their heads. "At least you understand," the other witch said. She was dressed in green, and started settling Severus up to apparate to St. Mungos. "Most people figure, if they're sleeping they're safe. When in actuality, the illness could be sinking in or they could be slipping away."

Zia squeaked in response. Severus couldn't be slipping away. Not now. Not like this.

The witch in purple hushed the other one and assured Zia that they would do everything possible to keep Severus alive.

Suddenly, Severus' eyes flew open and he bolted upright in bed.

All three women jumped back in alarm. "Sev, what?" Zia started, rushing to his side.

Clumsily, as if through a fog, he pushed her backwards. "Har-etcsh! Taegstch! Fretcssshh!" he sneezed freely to the side, too out of it to even cover his sneezes. The sneezes were wet, yet weak.

The two Medi-witches tried to hide their disgust, while Zia set to cleaning up Severus' nose and mouth. She tried to lay him back down, but he struggled against her.

She shushed him and tried to keep him down, but it only angered and irritated him.

***** **"Why don't you," one of the Medi-witches started, but it was too late. In one guttural retch, he heaved into his hands.

The split second the Medi-Witches took to respond, was the second Zia needed to take charge. In seemingly one movement she hoisted Severus off the bed and rushed him to the loo.

While he continued to heave and retch, emptying the contents of his stomach into the toilet. Zia was overcome with relief. Finally, his body was fighting back. She grabbed a washcloth and soaped it up, cleaning up his hands. She threw the soiled washcloth to the side, wet another one with cool water, and placed it on the back of his neck.

Finally, his stomach relaxed, and he heaved for air. Zia opened her arms and he fell into them. She kissed his now sweating forehead, and pat his face with the washcloth.

"Why Severus?" she asked, her voice thick with emotion.

Every time he went to answer, he stomach strained again and he thrust himself back out of her arms. He gagged and strained, but there was nothing left.

Gently, but firmly, Zia pulled him back into her arms. He leaned into her and relaxed to her touch. Slowly, he drifted back to sleep. *******

"Is he okay, dear?" the witch in green asked, coming in after he'd drifted off.

Zia shrugged. "He's sleeping."

"We'd still like to take him," she told Zia.

Zia nodded. "I'm not letting go," she said plainly.

"But, dear," the witch in purple said, coming into the bathroom, "we need to apparate with him."

"Then you're apparating with me too, because I am not letting go. I know what apparating an ill wizard can do, and if he's going to slip away, he's going to do it in my arms."

The two Medi-witches exchanged worried glances. "As you like it," the one in purple said, and with a 'pop' they apparated to St. Mungos.

Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus *

"Heh-."

Zia stirred herself awake. It had been a long night full of tests and potions. Anything to get Severus to illicit an immune response. Long hours had been spent purging him and then casting different spells to figure out why his body was being so complacent. It was as if his body had given up completely.

Zia's arms hurt. After the tears of fear and the rage at him trying to leave her – because to her mind there was no other reason to overdose not by two, but three times over the allowable safe dosage – her rage turned to self-hatred.

She had stolen away to the nearest restroom and bled herself until she couldn't cry anymore. She couldn't feel anymore. She hated herself for not seeing this coming. Of course, why else would a great man like Severus Snape ever settle for a _healer_. He was beyond her in capability, intelligence, skill – everything that mattered. Guilt had kept him at her side, and he was looking for a way to get out without hurting her too deeply – by making it look like an accident.

"Heh-eh."

Zia blinked blearily. There was someone in the room. Someone awake, and…

"Heh-eh-KETCHHH!" Severus sneezed loudly. The wet sneeze was caught by his cupped hand and whipped onto his covers. "Scuse… didn't want to wa-way-k… heh-heh-eh… KETCCHHH!"

Sick.

Overcome with joy, Zia couldn't help but goad him on. "Yes, Severus. Sneeze. Please sneeze." She grabbed one of the handkerchiefs on the bedside table and hastily handed it to him.

"Don… do..oh-heh-HAH- KETCCH!" The third sneeze, just as wet as its predecessors started him in a long gurgling blow, after which he folded the handkerchief and blew again.

"Bless," Zia said quietly. "Anymore? Please tell me there are more."

"Oh…" Severus groaned, grabbing his head. "There are more. But, they _hurt_. Everything hur… hurt…s…heh-hah…Etgachosssh!"

"Don't stifle them," Zia scolded, getting up to call the Medi-witches.

"But… heh… they…hah…hah…ehhhhh… hurt…Egatcheffrsssh! ET-Ataacheashh! KETCHH! KETCCH! Eh… Effreshhh-ATCH!" As his head snapped forward with each sneeze, Severus whimpered just a bit.

"Keep sneezing. This is a good thing. I know it hurts. But, this is a good thing."

He kept the handkerchief held to his nose. "Bu… huh… KEssshhtooo! Why?" He blew his nose quickly to relieve the tickle, but it was of no use. His sinuses were becoming steadily blocked and the tickle was only intensifying.

Zia stopped and looked at him seriously. "You tried to kill yourself Sev. Don't you remember?"

The tickle which had been creeping up on him backed off when he'd heard that statement. "What?" he asked surprised. "No, Zia, I…"

"You wanted out of our relationship so badly you took more than three times the allowable dosage and nearly died." She blinked back the tears. "I guess I care too much to let you die," she whispered as the Medi-witches came running in.

"Mr. Snape, you certainly gave us quite a scare," said the one in lavender.

"Aye, and we thought you were done in last night, but you finally responded to a healthy helping of bella donna."

"But that's a… huh… a… Huhshoo! Atkesshoo! Affresstchoo! Keh… hah…hah…ahKETCHOO!" The final sneeze bend him in half. When he recovered, Zia noticed tears streaming down his face.

"All right," she said, turning to the Medi-witches. "He's responding to the potion. You've seen the immune response. How long does he have to stay here?"

"At least for the day, Zia," Severus answered for them. "You should know that."

She nodded. "I should. But, I know you don't want to be here."

"Actually, I feel… I feel…," he held up a finger telling her to wait a moment, "Afresstchoo! Tessshoo! KETCHOOSHH!"

"Sneezy?" she offered as a joke.

But, nobody was laughing.

"No… well yes, but not where I was going with th…hah…t." He squinted his eyes until the feeling passed. "I feel safer here than I do with you. At least they know what to do until this passes. Kgsht!" He stifled a sneeze into his fist and totally missed the look of hurt in Zia's eyes.

"As you wish," she whispered, breathless with pain. She practically ran to the restroom, where she pulled out her wand and cut her arm again. She watched as the blood ran down the sink and envisioned the pain running out with it.

"Where did Zia go?" he asked after a moment. The healers wanted to try to mentally heal him, but that was her place. He wanted no other.

"I don't know, but I'm sure she'll be back. She stayed at your side all night. But, I do want you to look into my eyes."

"No, no… I don't like soul healing," Severus protested. Zia was his soul healer, and the only one he trusted with his secrets. Not only that, but her true talents were a secret – as was her identity. Another soul healer… he watched as the healers eyes pooled into blackness. He built up a barrier around Zia's secrets and let himself just answer the healers questions.

"You are one mean son of a bitch," the healer said as he came out of the trance.

He smiled. "I've been called worse."

He felt a wave of exhaustion wash over him and quickly fell back to sleep.

He woke up too congested to breath properly. He heard Zia talking to the healers and getting the skinny on why he had overdosed. He blew his nose forcefully and breathed a sigh of relief. Her outburst about him trying to kill himself to get away from her terrified him, and he was glad that she was being told what he really thought of her.

He sneezed wetly, and they turned to look at him.

"You ready to go home, Sev? Or, do you still feel safer here than with me?"

He thought about it for a second. He certainly felt that the worst had passed, and knew that Zia could handle anything that came her way from this point forward.

"Z… take me home, please," he replied stuffily.

Zia twitched. He'd hesitated. She remembered a time when he would have trusted her above all others. Obviously those days were long since passed.

"Of course," she turned back to the healers and got his potions regimen. "I've already talked to your Director, Sev. You have off for the week. He hopes you feel better."

"Heschugushh!" Trying to stifle the sneeze did not work. Instead it came out wet – barely sounding like a sneeze.

"And, don't stifle them. That's not good for you. You need to deal with the illness – as it stands, this is all it would have been if you had just let it happen."

Severus nodded as he blew his nose. "Yes, Z."

Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus * Zia&Severus *

"Hetchushh!" He was awoken by his own sneeze. He expected to see Zia either sitting or sleeping next to him, but no – she was not in the bedroom with him. "Hepptttew!" He coughed huskily, trying to muffled the sounds in his handkerchief. Zia, had certainly been there – there was warm tea, cold water, and a supply of handkerchiefs. He smiled as he saw his favorite book – 'Lamb' on the nightstand. "Heh-checch!"

His nose tickled furiously, but his body yearned for sleep.

When his symptoms continued and Zia did not come to his aid, he assumed that she was asleep. Although he yearned for her touch, he could not bring himself to wake her. The days of her being able to stay awake seemingly for weeks tending to someone was obviously over. Age had settled in and she was not the healer that she used to be.

Quickly, he shook that thought out of his head. He was lucky to have been found and taken back by her. So she was older – he was far beyond being a spring chicken himself. And, he had aged far worse than she had.

He remembered the high standards that she used to set for herself – and how he, Remus and Sirius were the only people who saw the dark side of healing. If she felt like she failed, or that she was perceived as failing, she would take the pain out on herself – with cutting, nervous breakdowns, anger, and self-doubt – the likes of with most would never see – could never see – and certainly could never understand.

It seemed that she had lowered the standards of what she expected out of herself. Over all, he felt that this was a good choice on her part. Especially since the wars were over. She didn't need to be 'on' all the time anymore.

Suddenly, he heard the fire spring to life. Terrified for her safety – even before his – he sprang out of bed. But, as his feet hit the cold floor he felt a chill run through him, causing him to fall back onto the bed – dizzy.

'Fever's up,' he thought, sneezing wetly, twice. He remembered a time when he could take an unforgivable curse, while ill, and still make it back to the shrieking shack to be healed by her. She truly wasn't the only one who was slipping up with age.

He forced himself to the sleep, surprised at how much he ached each time he moved.

That's when he heard it.

"Petrificus totalus! Aw, geez, I'm sorry! Remus, just hold still… well… yea."

He smiled at the thought of Remus and Tonks coming to check on them, being petrified and then told to hold still. That was humor, that was. And, he was sorry to have missed seeing it.

He shook as another chill ran through him. Convinced that Zia was not in danger, he tucked himself back under the covers and fell back to sleep.

"How is he?" Tonks asked, thanking Zia as she handed them each tea.

"Recovering," Zia replied with a forced smile.

Remus saw through it in an instant. "How are you?" he asked kindly. He took a sip of the tea – spearmint with honey. Perfect for the cold that he was still not yet over. She had known – had read him, as always.

She glared at him. "I'm recovering," she answered honestly.

"Recovering? Oh, from caretaking," Tonks said.

"Or something," Zia agreed.

Immediately sensing that something was wrong, she put down her tea. "What happened?"

"I found out some things. I'm just… coping," Zia responded quietly.

Remus gasped. She was seconds from tears. Zia never cried – not in front of people –and she nearly never confided in people. In her line of work, it wasn't safe. "Coping?" he offered gently.

"Severus, accidently overdosed. Apparently he thought it was a three times potency, and misjudged a few measurements."

"Well, that's good isn't it?" Tonks said brightly.

"Yes, that is good," Zia said. But, there was no emotion in her voice. And, the lack of emotion made Remus shudder.

"What happened, Z?" he asked, suddenly.

"I don't want to talk about it," she replied.

"Let me see," he said gently reaching for her tea.

She handed it over in an instant, confused as to why he wanted her tea. "Why?"

With wolf-like reflexes, he grabbed her arm and yanked up her sleeve. Both he and Tonks gasped at the angry red scar that traced its way from her wrist to her elbow.

"Oh geez, Z," he breathed.

"Oh that… yea, um," she tapped her arm with her wand and it healed, leaving a trail of brown in its place. "I just didn't have time to finish healing it. This one didn't just fix itself." Looking at their shocked, hurt faces she continued, "It's not a big deal guys."

"What did he say?" Remus demanded, angrily.

A wet sneeze emanated from the bedroom. "Nothing, don't worry about it," she said hurriedly, trying to go to check on Severus.

"Bullshit!" Remus snapped, not letting go of her wrist. "What happened, Z? What did he do?"

"The soul healer got the truth out of him. What he really thinks of me."

"And?" Tonks pressured.

Zia sighed, the tears in her eyes threatening to fall. "The soul healer started by saying that Severus was lucky to have me. He responded by saying that he understands why healers don't live very long – that I had long since outlived my usefulness, and that if I was half the healer I used to be, he'd never have wound up in St. Mungos."

Both Tonks and Remus gasped.

"He's right, of course. There was a time when people who were ill were well cared for on my watch. Not left to their own devices. I should have known he was ill before we left. I should have done something about it then."

Remus looked as if he was about to say something, but sneezed into the crook of his arm instead.

"Bless," Zia said, handing him a tissue.

"Thanks," he replied huskily.

Zia felt her heart melt. He was always so cute when he was sick. She wanted to care for him, but it wasn't her place anymore. He had Tonks now, and she took good care of him.

"And what would Remus do without you?" Tonks said, as if she had read her mind.

"Uh, depend on you – as he does. And, I… I'm not needed there anymore."

Tonks looked scandalized. "You most certainly are – just in a different way. And we are lucky to know you."

Zia smiled crookedly. "You're kind to say so. But, Severus is right. There is a reason that healers don't live long – after a while we become so jaded that we're worth more dead than alive."

"You most certainly are not!" Tonks said.

Another sneeze – harsher and wetter than the first – came from the bedroom.

"I know it's hard to understand, but he is a great man. And, I am lucky to be loved by one such as he."

"Oh yes, this is some great love," Tonks replied sarcastically.

"You're lucky," Zia responded quietly. "Your standards and what has been expected of you – they are different than mine. You have met them, and continued to as time has gone on. You are still useful."

She sniffed wetly and brushed the tears out of her eyes.

Remus felt his heart melt. He'd seen her collapse to her own pain – trying to hold herself to impossible standards more times than he could count. But, he had only seen her fall apart because of what others thought of her once before.

_They were in Hogwarts and he had been coming down with the flu that Sirius was just getting over. Ever since they had made friends with her, Sirius made it clear that she knew that he did not like being fussed over. The detachment seemed to cause her pain, but she did her best to be as hands off as possible. _

_But, that afternoon, she had found Sirius asleep and feverish in the library. According to Sirius, he woke up because he had nudged him and pressed a cool compress to the back o his neck. She insisted that he went back to his room. _

_Embarrassed – and feverish – he had shoved her away, sending her crashing into a stack of books. He later told Remus that it looked like he had hurt her more than just physically: it looked like the spark in her eyes dimmed that day._

Remus sighed as his memory fast forwarded to later that day.

_The two of them had advanced potions together and had been paired together. He was feeling more poorly with each passing second, and he knew that she knew. _

_He shook her hand off his and wetly sneezed into his cupped hand. _

_She mouthed the words 'Bless you,' and slipped him a handkerchief._

_He was about to push it back to her when his eyes started to water with an impeding sneeze. Quickly, he brought it to his face and sneezed wetly three times. He groaned when his head pounded in protest. Everything seemed foggy. Anger overtook him. "This is why I hate healers!" he yelled at her. _

_Standing up he leaned over her. "You're all worthless, annoying, coddling, fussing trolls. My world would have been better if you had never come into it. Ask around! Nobody wants you or your help." His voice had deadpanned by the end. His brown eyes gazed into her green ones, with a seriousness that could not be ignored. He sneezed harshly. _

_As she tried to hand him a tissue, he yelled, "Leave me alone! I hate you!"_

Remus shivered as he remember the silence in the room, the crushed look on her face, and the few giggles and claps from around the room – from the others who she had tried to help and didn't want it.

_He snorted and sat down heavily in his chair, listening to her quick footsteps as she ran from the room. _

_It was hours later when he and Sirius were supposed to go for a roam. The rest of the castle was quiet and they wanted to enjoy some quality time before the flu made it impossible for Remus to enjoy their quality time together. _

_As Remus prepared to go, Sirius ran into their dorms and through himself onto his bed – sobbing hysterically. Remus was shocked – never before had he seen Sirius so upset about anything. _

_Through some careful questioning Remus got the story out of Sirius. Apparently, he had been looking for new passageways for them to explore when he came across her, hung by the neck, deep within the secret passageways of the castle. He immediately got Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey, but neither was certain that they would be able to save her. _

_Remus recalled the crushing weight of guilt. This wasn't what he had meant at all. But, it is what he had said. _

_The next day they were informed that she would survive. That was the day that Dumbledore told him something that changed him forever. "We're not surprised," he said, "we've been expecting this for quite some time. Healers don't tend to live long, my boy. It's hard to be a natural healer – the classes, they just help guide her. But, her abilities can't be shut off. They are a constant issue, a constant battle for her to fight as she tries to fit in." At Remus' apparent confusion, he continued. "Healers are the first people called on for help and the last people remembered. Generally, the either work themselves to death or kill themselves young. I had higher hopes for her, though – she has friends. Most healers chase people away with their caring. They can't help it any more than they can help healing."_

Remus sighed as he snapped out of his reverie. He wasn't a friend to her then, but he would be now.

"Come, let's go," he said, pulling Tonks towards the fireplace. "Severus was right. Healers do tend to die young. They give so freely. It's good that she's found love. And, when Severus is feeling better, he'll start treating her right again. You'll see."

And, with that, they disappeared in a burst of green flame.


End file.
